News about Carol

A Tribute to Carol

2009-10-28T17:03:00.000-04:00

September 21, 2009

Dear National Colleagues:

With deep regret, I write to inform you that today, September 21, our
friend and colleague Carol Marshall passed away and has gone home to the
Lord. Carol has suffered with a terminal illness for the better part of
this year, and passed away peacefully in hospice care with her family at
her side.

Many of you got to know Carol over the past twelve months as she guided
National Air Cargo through the rigors of initiating our Ethics and
Proper Business Conduct programs throughout the global offices. All of
us who knew her can see her bright smile and positive voice, encouraging
us and coaching us. She leaves a very strong legacy of proper business
behaviors and expectations to National Air Cargo. I now encourage all of
us to stand up and proudly live the "work ethics" Carol so positively
displayed. Her impact on National Air Cargo and National Airlines, at an
extremely critical crossroad in our company's history, will live on and
on. Let's make her proud by working as she would expect.

Carol was recognized as an expert in the area of Compliance, Business
Ethics, and Workplace Conduct. She had established internationally
recognized compliance and ethics programs at a number of corporations
and worked closely with government entities and non-government
organizations to promote the highest standards of ethical conduct in
multi-national corporations. She received her law degree, and was
formerly a senior vice president at MCI and at Lockheed Martin,
specializing in Ethics and Compliance.

Carol is survived by her husband Frank Marshall, and children Charles,
Christine, and Andrew. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Frank and
family at this difficult time. A memorial service will be held in
Northern Virginia on Thursday September 24th.

Preston G. Murray
CEO

Signing Off

2009-10-04T08:24:00.005-04:00

Carol enriched my life in many, many ways. None the least of which . . . she turned me into a blogger! And I suppose many of you as well.

It is time for me to wrap up this blog. And since I have no words to describe what this amazing journey with this amazing woman has really been about, I thought it only fitting to close with the wonderful words spoken about Carol at her memorial service by Steve Chaudet, Phyllis Cooper and Christine Maginnis. They did have words . . . beautiful, eloquent words. And if, by chance, you haven't had a chance to hear them, I thought you might like to read them.

Sally

A Tribute to Carol - by Steve Chaudet
This wasn’t supposed to happen. It’s way too early. There were years to live, great meals to prepare, kids to pamper, grandchildren to spoil and trips to take with Frank and friends, and long days at the Shore watching the sun rise and set on that beautiful deck while the family grew around her. But life has a way of throwing speed bumps in our path when we least expect it. Turned out Carol’s wasn’t a bump, it was a mountain. A mountain that she scaled, but just couldn’t get to the other side. This is a life that was well lived and courageously ended. Carol taught us how to live and she taught us how to die. In living Carol defined passion, commitment, and love for all those she came in contact with. Her passions ranged from, her work where she was a recognized leader in the field of ethics and compliance, to her love of God, and commitment to teaching others about the glories of the bible. Where I noticed this passion was Carol’s love of cooking. Carol loved to cook and be the maestro behind the kitchen island, hands chopping, dicing and mixing, moving from one food item to another, all the time holding three separate conversations with her guests. She would typically fly in from some activity and within minutes pull together friends, some on short notice, and a delicious meal that always made for memorable evenings. A dinner with Frank and Carol whether at the Shore or Georgetown was always an event, as you never knew who the other guests would be and you would always be amazed at how good the meal was. Carol loved to share her friends and she wanted you to like and love them as much as she did. She was always mixing and matching different friends. It wasn’t a circle the wagons, these are my friends and you can’t have them, but rather, Steve you have something in common with this great friend and I want you to meet him. Oh, I will miss those evenings, seeing my friend in total joy behind that island, wooden spoon lifted as she began a symphonic concert of friends and food.
The other passion was family. We all love our families, Carol adored and worshipped hers. And she wanted you to feel the same. I loved her for that because she introduced me to three wonderful children who during this tough year have been by her side and provided comfort that reflects enormous love. Carol was always saying to me---- “Don’t you just love Chip, isn’t he the neatest Marine, or isn’t Andrew the cutest guy, and isn’t Christine beautiful and smart” Right on all counts. The other great passion was Frank. What a love story. Theirs was a growing love not a relationship in neutral. These past few months have demonstrated a commitment to love and caring that surpasses anything that I have known. God bless you Frank. Carol would often say to me “Isn’t Frank wonderful”, and Frank would say to me how lucky he was to have found Carol.If Carol had passion for living she had courage in dying and she provides each of us with an example of that dignity. From the day she found her prognosis it was upbeat in her blog and in her demonstrated desire to live. I watched Carol in the hospital and it was Carol who was cheering up the hospital staff, asking about themselves and their families. It was so Carol. Think about someone else, make someone else feel comfortable. A wonderful story I love to tell that sums up so many aspects of Carol’s personality was a time on the big island of Hawaii when Ruth, her mom, called me around midnight telling me that Carol was very sick and was with the paramedics who were taking her to the hospital. I hurried to the back of the hotel and found Carol on a gurney about to depart for the hospital that was it least 50 miles away. I told Carol I would go with her, where upon she says, “no you take me in your car”. Carol I replied I have no medical training and you are sick. “Well she replied it cost so much to take the ambulance. Carol, that’s why you have insurance. Well guess who drove her. She got into the back seat of the car with her pillow and off we went. About half way to the hospital she jumps up from the backseat and informs me that feels fine. Carol I said we are heading to the hospital to have you checked out. We arrive at this little hospital that had to have been built during WW-II. Carol is now totally recovered, it’s about 1:30 in the morning and the doctor says she doesn’t need to stay. Before we could leave the nurse who has instantly taken a liking to Carol asks me what “my wife does”. Well here was an interesting situation. Carol is dressed in a light cotton nightgown and how do I answer. So I say, “She’s a lawyer”. Good answer for the nurse, as she is going through a divorce and wants legal advice……of course Carol engages and what ensues is a lengthy discussion of the nurse’s divorce with free advice from Carol. We finally leave the hospital, Carol is feeling fine, the nurse is happy; I am beat as it’s now 3 or 4 in the morning and we have a 50-mile drive back to the hotel. This little story says so much about Carol. She takes charge, starts giving orders, keeps up a constant happy chat with me on the way to the hospital, makes friends with the nurse, provides advice and off we go. A great adventure for Carol. We celebrate a life that touched all of us, a life well lived and a memory that we must all nurture and keep alive. No one dies if we don’t let them die. If we cherish Carol and what her life meant to all of us she lives on; she lives on through her wonderful Frank, her great mom Ruth, her caring brother and sister-in-law, her three wonderful kids and a great a new son-in-law who will keep her alive for their children, and finally we keep her alive because she was a friend like no other, a friend that loved each of us and only wanted the best for us; and to sit at a table filled with good food and friends to celebrate life. God bless you my good friend, may you rest in peace.

Carol Marshall - A Beautiful Reflection of Christ,
Delivered by Phyllis Cooper
Everybody loved Carol. I feel privileged that Frank asked me to share concerning Carol’s spiritual side – her walk with Jesus and her service for Him. For a moment now, use your sanctified imagination: Carol is standing at the pearly gates. St. Peter won’t allow her to pass through until she looks into a mirror. So she does. With a big grin, he motions her in. Two angels are observing:
Q. What showed up in the mirror?
A. Exactly what pleases God the most! Not Carol’s pretty face, but a beautiful reflection of Christ!

Clearly, Carol chose early on to make Jesus Christ her role model for life. Here are three ways Carol’s life reflected her Savior.

I. Humble Service – Jesus healed unclean lepers and washed the disciples’ dirty feet. He said, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve” Mk. 10:45. Carol, Frank and their family began attending Agoura Bible Fellowship, L.A. area, in the mid-80’s. It wasn’t too long before she began serving on the Deaconess Board and then as chairman.
Her friend Bernice wrote to me about Carol’s many years’ involvement with the church’s Christmas Dinners, which included a big show. “The first year we put on the dinners, when Carol was one of the helpers, we didn’t really know what we were doing…When planning for next year started, Carol sat me down and said, ‘I can’t sing…so I can’t be in the program but how about if you and Jim take care of the program, and I’ll coordinate everything else behind the scenes…’ And in typical Carol style, she jumped in and did just that…Only our Carol could actually make it fun for men to stand around wearing garbage bags as they scraped dinner plates.”

In 2002, Carol and Frank moved to the Washington DC area and began attending McLean Bible Church. Here the Lord used her up-front gift of speaking to impact women at conferences and special events, but the humble servant heart still shined through. Sue Moye, Director of Women’s Ministries, shared the time when Carol was just walking down the hotel hall at a church women’s conference where she was one of the break-out speakers. Sue was desperately looking for some help. Boxes and boxes of books authored by the conference speaker had just been delivered – a big surprise to Sue. Carol saw Sue’s desperation and asked if she could help. You guessed it. Carol – on the spot – took on organizing, finding sales recruits, unpacking and selling those books – books that contained the Good News of the Gospel. See the servant’s heart. See the reflection of Jesus. Beautiful.

II. Heart of love for unbelievers. Like her Savior, Carol had a deep passion and concern for telling the world that Christ had come “to give His life as a ransom for many” Mk. 10:45. As a discussion leader for CBS each year until her illness overtook her, she faithfully shared her personal testimony of how Jesus Christ transformed her life. Then she loved those 15 or so women in her group, including the challenging, “hard to love” ones. Even on a business trip to the other side of the world, she would use her blackberry to keep in touch with her “gals.” Once again, a beautiful reflection of Christ.

God gave Carol the unique opportunity of serving on the Board of Community Bible Study, a group that has a world-wide ministry. The Board members wrote to say, “Carol came on the Board as CBS International was being assimilated into CBS. She was so insightful in helping each ministry appreciate the differences, sensibilities and ways of doing things in other cultures. Her wisdom contributed to the joining together in a God-honoring way…She was dedicated to honoring the authority of God’s Word…”

Even though Carol was virtually overwhelmed with drugs because of her pain in the last weeks of her life, Sally told me how concerned she was that the man who emptied the wastebaskets in her hospital room hear the Gospel.

And the Blog was Carol’s way to articulate to everyone who would read it, her walk of faith in a dark place. Above all, she wanted God to have the glory! All of us who sent her verses and tried to be supportive, found ourselves strengthened by her authenticity and simple trust.

III. Joyful encouragement –Like her Savior, Carol was an encourager – always with a smile, always with a positive outlook. Always cheerfully generous. The Holy Spirit enabled her to see people’s gifts and encourage them in those gifts. How do I know this? Carol encouraged me – and her carefully chosen words made all the difference for me in a difficult situation. She was the reflection of Christ to me!

Could it be at this very moment Carol is standing before the Lord and hearing, “Well done, good and faithful servant – your life has reflected your Savior beautifully! Come, enjoy your heavenly reward.

A Tribute to My Mother - Christine Maginnis
Thank you all for coming here to celebrate my mom’s life with us. The outpouring of love and support from all of you, whether it was by email, the blog, phone calls, or even facebook has meant so much to my family and has served as a reminder of how amazing my mom was and how many lives she touched. She was truly a remarkable woman. It is safe to say my mother touched and taught each one of us something special – for some she taught us about the love and amazing grace of the Lord, for others she might have counseled you on government compliance, and to all of us she showed us what a friendship is.

My mom taught me a multitude of things - all that have shaped me and molded me into the person I am today. My mom taught me of the importance of family. As you just heard from Steve and Phyllis my mom was involved in everything – we used to joke that it wasn’t that she “couldn’t say no” to opportunities to help and get involved – it’s that she didn’t WANT to. Growing up my mom was involved in our church, school activities, as well as working full time, and I can honestly say that I never felt like I had to compete with anything for her love, affection, and support. Speaking on behalf of my brothers, my mom never made us feel like we were pulling her away from something more important or that there was anything else she’d rather be doing than spending time with us. I think my brothers will agree with my, that my mom was our biggest fan in everything we did – big or small.

My mom also taught me how to me an amazing wife – the love my mom and dad had for each other is something that I was constantly in awe of…when Erik and I were preparing for our wedding, the pastor we met with us asked us what we expected in our marriage…I said, without hesitation, that I want the kind of marriage that my parents have – I want Erik and I to look at each other and care for each other the way my parents looked at each other and cared for each other after 20+ years of marriage. It is impossible to ignore that what made their marriage and love for each other so incredible was their love for the Lord. My mom taught me something that was taught to her before she and my dad got married. She said that their marriage is really a picture of a triangle. With my parents at each of the bottom corners, and God at the top point….as each of them drew closer to God, knowing Him, -- they grew closer to each other. She went on to say “We can tell you…that’s true. And we believe it is the secret to a strong, wonderful marriage. ---and I can tell you it’s great”

Finally, my mom showed me what it was like to be unconditionally loved - I was given an incredible gift to have Carol Marshall as my best friend and mom for 26 years and I thank God everyday for that gift. I miss my mom so much – but I look forward to the day when I can see her again and we can celebrate together.

When I sat down to write this – I was using my mom’s computer and got sidetracked and started browsing her documents…I came across a file called “No matter what…remember this”. I don’t know if this is something my mom wrote or just found encouragement in, but either way I want to share it with you:

These are good to remember:

Absolutely God is in control, no matter what.

Absolutely God is good, no matter what.

Absolutely nothing is impossible for God, no matter what.

Absolutely God works all things for good, no matter what.

Absolutely I am thanking and praising God, no matter what.

Before we read the 23^rd Psalm together, I would like to read an excerpt from my mom’s blog that she wrote on Sunday, May 10^th after a particularly rough week:

… at one point during the night I found myself thinking of a verse that I hadn’t thought of in a long time…The 23rd Psalm. You know how it says “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. HE makes me lie down in green pastures, HE leads me beside quiet waters, HE restores my soul. HE guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.” It was particularly meaningful when, as I was thinking of the verse, the way it says: Even though I walk through the valley of the SHADOW of death, I WILL NOT FEAR, because YOU are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me….” Well that was amazing as that verse came to me b/c I thought, that’s how this feels – this feels like a SHADOW. And I am not alone. I felt as though I was covered. Does that make any sense? I can’t explain it, but it was just so amazing that that was the verse that came to me. I was feeling like I needed a Rod and Staff to get through the scary parts…

Please join me as we read the 23^rd Psalm together and remember that this verse is a verse of much encouragement as we all encounter our own “Shadows”:

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

If you were unable to attend Carol's service...

2009-09-29T13:35:00.002-04:00

The video archive for Carol Marshall's memorial service is now available at http://www.mcleanbible.org/carolmarshall. From that page you can also access a PDF version of the program as well as the online guest book.

Details of Internet Service

2009-09-23T10:57:00.010-04:00

For friends of Carol who are far away, or unable attend, we invite you to join the memorial service for Carol Marshall live on the Internet

at 2 PM ET on Thursday, September 24, 2009

To access the service, you will go to mcleanbible.org/carolmarshall. The live stream will begin 15 minutes prior to the service.

To download a copy of the program for the service, please click here.

To sign Carol's guest book, please click here.

Gone To The Lord

2009-09-21T15:56:00.002-04:00

Carol R. Marshall
May 4, 1953 - September 21, 2009

Far too soon for all of us who loved her so much, Carol is safely at home in the arms of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
It is no surprise to the readers of this blog that Carol loved people. Her heart for others was only surpassed by her tremendous faith and a desire that all would come into a saving relationship with Christ and thereby know, as she has known, His peace, grace, mercy, and love. As a testament to this, even in her last days, Carol expressed a passionate concern for all those who may not know Christ, especially those who have shared this journey with her. In the depths of her heart, she wanted all of you to know that the purpose of this blog was about honoring Him. Carol was nothing if not a faithful servant of God.

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he
has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to
those who love him."

James 1:12

A memorial service for Carol will be held at McLean Bible Church
2:00pm Thursday, September 24
8925 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, VA 22182

Reception following the service
Congressional Country Club
8500 River Road
Bethesda, MD 20817

For those friends of Carol's who are far away or can't attend, we are
planning to put the service on the internet, live at 2pm EST.
Please check back for details.

In lieu of flowers, Carol's family asks that donations be directed to:

The Carol Marshall Memorial Fund
c/o Dr. Dan Laheru
Kimmel Cancer Center at Johns Hopkins Hospital
1650 Orleans St. Room 4M09
Baltimore, MD 21231-1000

Community Bible Study
790 Stout Road
Colorado Springs, CO 80921

The House DC
P.O. Box 30958
Washington, DC 20030

A Note from Carol's Mom

2009-09-20T21:42:00.002-04:00

Carol's mom, Ruth, asked me to let everyone know how much she appreciates the many, many notes, prayers and scripture readings so many of you have left on this blog. She wants you all to know that your words bring her great comfort in this painful time. And she glows with warmth and pride when she reads how much Carol meant to each of you. Please continue to hold Ruth in your hearts and prayers as she accompanies Carol in her journey.

Carol continues to rest peacefully and comfortably. My husband (who is a surgeon) said she defies medical science. Amazing woman!

With love,
Sally

September 18 Note

2009-09-18T09:45:00.002-04:00

Dear Friends,
Carol spent another peaceful night with the angel-nurses in hospice care. We continue to be grateful she feels no pain.

I opened my daily reading for yesterday from Max Lucado and read:

Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains a single grain of wheat; but if it dies, it brings a good harvest. John 12:24

We do all we can to live and not die. God, however, says we must die in order to live. When you sow a seed, it must die in the ground before it can grow. What we see as the ultimate tragedy, he sees as the ultimate triumph.

And when a Christian dies, it's not a time to despair, but a time to trust. Just as the seed is buried and the material wrapping decomposes, so our body will be buried and will decompose. But just as the buried seed sprouts new life, so our body will blossom into a new body . . .

The seed buried in the earth will blossom in heaven. Your soul and body will reunite, and you will be like Jesus.

So . . . we must trust. While we wait.
Love,
Sally

The Slow Journey Home

2009-09-16T07:49:00.002-04:00

Carol continues to rest peacefully . . . and more deeply each day . . . as she makes her journey home. The family keeps vigil and waits.

We do read your blog messages to Carol. The hospice nurses tell us she can hear them. So thank you for all the wonderful notes you post and the love and prayers you send!

Love,
Sally

September 12 Update

2009-09-12T07:14:00.002-04:00

Dear All,

I am writing to tell you that there is really nothing to tell you. Carol continues to rest comfortably, highly medicated for pain . . . so uncommunicative. We wait and we pray. Her brother Wayne and his wife Barbara returned from Connecticut yesterday and continue to keep vigil with Ruth, Frank and the rest of the family. Please continue to hold them all in your prayers.

I will be sure to let you know if there is a change.

Love,
Sally

God never said that the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile. -Max Lucado (In the Eye of the Storm)

A Short Update

2009-09-08T18:15:00.002-04:00

I thought you would want to know that I saw Carol today and she continues to rest comfortably in hospice care. Her pain seems to be under control.

Thank you so much for all the wonderful messages you have posted during the last few weeks. I can't imagine not being with Carol on this journey. It has been my privilege!

Love,
Sally

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."
Psalm 37:7

An Update

2009-09-03T06:52:00.002-04:00

Thank you, everyone, for the outpouring of love, support and prayer for Carol and her family during this difficult time. It is overwhelming and so appreciated.

Carol moved yesterday afternoon from Georgetown Hospital to a lovely, in-patient hospice facility with relative ease. She is resting comfortably, surrounded by her family.

The rest, as we know, is in God's loving hands.

Love,
Sally

Message from Sally

2009-08-31T21:17:00.002-04:00

I know how often this blog is checked. And how disappointing it must be to find no entry. I'm sorry.
The truth is, not much has changed. Carol remains in Georgetown Hospital in critical condition. And we are keeping vigil. Frank, Chip, Christine & Erik, Andrew, Ruth, Wayne and Barbara take turns being with Carol around the clock.
Please know that I will update the blog with any change. And that all your thoughts, wishes and prayers are so very, very appreciated.
Sally

A Message from Frank

2009-08-26T00:07:00.002-04:00

Frank asked me to tell you all that Carol's pain escalated to such a high level Monday night she was transported by ambulance to Georgetown Hospital and admitted to the ICU. Her condition is listed as critical.
I ask your prayers for Frank and Carol's whole family at this difficult time. We will keep you updated about Carol's condition.
Sally

Today's Procedure

2009-08-24T22:15:00.002-04:00

A note from Sally . . .
Frank called to say that Carol is back home in Georgetown and resting following the endoscopic procedure today at Johns Hopkins. It was decided that the stent was not doing any harm where it was resting and didn't have to be moved. The doctors will re-check in two weeks.
So . . . clearance was given for a soft diet! Sounds good when you've been on clear liquid for weeks! And the team will convene on Wednesday
at Hopkins for CT scans, blood work and a pow-wow to determine the next course of treatment.
Then on to the shore for some R&R, sunshine and good nutrition!

Home!

2009-08-23T00:58:00.001-04:00

Does God smile and chuckle at us? If so...He is having a merry time with all my 
worry and concern, saying "ah ha!! And you NEVER anticipated such an uneventful, 
COMFORTABLE flight, my girl". We have landed. The flight was great..in fact the 
seat reclined so I had great back support and legs elevated the whole way. 

We are in the car with Andrew now on the way home. Erik and Christine are behind 
us with Chip. So we are headed on to Georgetown. 

Thanks for praying us home. And Thanks Lord for scoffing as my silly worries! 

Love,

Carol 
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Travel Update from Carol!

2009-08-22T17:58:00.000-04:00

So far so good! Made it to the airport in Paul's car surrounded by pillows in 
such comfort! Just about ready to board the plane and guess what??our friends 
Steve and June on our same flight, also upgraded to first class!  God planned a 
party! So---just wanted to send an enroute All Is Good!  Prayers answered moment 
by moment!!
Love
Carol
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Carol's Prayer for Today

2009-08-22T08:02:00.001-04:00

Lord, I know that you have a plan for my life and as I am on this journey, don't
see those plans or see how I fit in. But Lord I thank you today so much for our
family and friends who have prayed me back to health these last few weeks in
California. It is bittersweet to leave, and I don't know why you kept me here in
California, but please make it someday clear the blessing that you had planned.

For today I  ask for your protection and just to "be in the details" as we
travel back to DC. You know that I am worried about the logistics of this trip
and the crazy things like swelling in my body and getting me into tip-top shape
for the important medical stuff I have coming up at Johns Hopkins next week
with Dr Giday on Monday and Dr Laheru on Wednesday and their teams. But I also
KNOW from Your Word that I don't HAVE to worry about next week or even tomorrow.
..that you will give me just the strength I need.
You tell me so clearly that You will be there for all the tomorrows, and next
weeks, just as You have been.

I thank You that You worked out the travel details that both Chip and Andrew
will be at the airport in cars when we arrive on the East Coast. I don't know
why You have our whole family brought together over 3000 miles -Chip from San
Diego, Andrew from Maine- for this Saturday night pick up/Sunday in DC, but I
thank You for that.

Lord, there's what is on my heart tonight. I'm going back to sleep now. Thanks
for this time with You.

Holding on to these veses of Yours: --

Deuteronomy 33:12 "Let the beloved of the Lord rest 
secure in Him, for He shields "her" all day long, and the one the Lord 
loves rests between His shoulders."

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God I will praise his
word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto
me." - Psalms 56:3-4

Your daughter,
Carol
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Today's News Straight from Carol!

2009-08-18T09:36:00.001-04:00

Hello all!
I have my Blackberry back under my thumbs again, so I  thought I'd send
an update. Although I know that Christine and Frank have been giving real-time
updates.  I am happy to say that, although I am still in Hoag Hospital in
Newport Beach (there goes the vacation!) I have been transferred out of ICU to a
regular unit on clear liquid diet. (Mm-mmm Ensure is my new best friend!!) Just
need to get to the place where I can get my muscles back, get out of the bed,
get the infection cleared up and then we can get back to DC and Johns Hopkins to
get the stents fixed up. (Did I tell you they think the internal bleeding was
caused by the stent/s moving?) Glad they got that patched up!

It is nice to be feeling back into the swing of things. I can't thank you enough
for your prayers during this specific time when you were getting blog updates
though Sally, Christine and Frank.  Whew it has been quite an 11 days. A bit of
a blur there for a while I was fully relying on God guiding the decisions of
every doctor, nurse, assistant, family and friend!  As always, He Was Faithful.
The result at this point is no more ICU, no internal bleeding, infection
clearing up, tests, tests, tests, but hopefully I will be out of the hospital in
a few days and then scheduled back to Johns Hopkins for "clean up" surgery on
the stent/s. I have to say though, if we had to extend our "vacation" with
Frank's family, Hoag Hospital has been wonderful. I feel as though I have had
great medical care here and while I have been hospitalized (no surprise) our
family has been so, so, so amazing. Chip has been able to drive up here to
Newport Beach from his base in Miramar (San Diego--about an hour or so). He
spent "night watch" in my room early during the ICU phase when I was pretty much
out of it. Christine took a night on the lovely vinyl cot also!  Christine and
Erik also extended their stay out here and she has set up a little office right
here in the corner of my hospital room with her laptop, mouse, etc etc and she
hasn't missed a beat! Gotta love this new technology and understanding
colleagues who are also out there in cyber space!! Andrew calls almost each day,
feeling frustrated that he can't be out here, but there doesn't seem to be any
reason to make the trip here from DC.  Family and 2 girl friends from Oak Park
have spent many daytime here just helping me get back, encouraging, keeping
notes, and being eyes/ears to all the docs and medical-types who come by with
messages and updates that all, candidly, become a blur. Our biggest challenge is
to get Frank to take SOME time away from this hospital and get some rest!

Oh, speaking of Frank though and time at hoag Hospital--- I have to tell you the
funniest story. The other night Johnny and Michele (Frank's middle brother) had
made some of their signature enchilda sauce (!) And invited everybody over for
enchilada dinner. Well somehow, when they arrived at John and Michele's house,
Chris tripped, fell down and hit her head on the payment and a little bump
raised on the back of her head. So in an abundance of caution, Paul (youngest
brother) brought her in to Hoag Emergency Room! They checked her out, gave her a
bandage and sent her home and said to wake up in the night just to be checked.
So Frank says "Mom, I get up a couple times during the night anyway, I'll come
check on you. Besides, been through this with Carol, I know all the questions
they want asked." So at midnight he wakes up, pads downstairs and whispers "Mom,
how are you doing?" And she sits up in a loud voice and hollers:"CHRIS MARSHALL;
BALBOA CALIFORNIA; AUGUST 2009."  Ha ha. It sounds so funny. Frank thinks she
was laying in bed since 10pm just waiting for him to come downstairs!!  Good
news is that she is just fine, although we are considering requesting a Marshall
Discount at Hoag!

As to me, we are still looking Up. Not sure when we head back to East Coast for
the "Clean Up surgery" depends when I am released from Hoag and declared "ready
to fly". We will keep you posted on THAT prayer request for me+Frank+American
Airlines!!
Love,
Carol
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Answered Prayer . . . In a Different Way

2009-08-13T14:35:00.002-04:00

Just got this email from Christine. Carol's procedure has been postponed until it can be done back home at Hopkins. Apparently the doctors at Hoag and Hopkins conferred last night and made the decision. Thanks for all the prayer!
Sally

From Christine . . . . .

Just talked to Dr. Lee – the gastroenterologist – who had a long conversation with Dr. Giday (the gastroenterologist at Hopkins) and they have decided not to do the procedure today because of complications that can arise from trying to manipulate the stent. CT scan showed no evidence of perforation and the contrast flowed freely to the intestine so there is no obstruction there. They plan to put her on a full liquid diet for nutrition, let her recover from the trauma of the bleeding, and readdress the stent in a few weeks time (at Hopkins).

Both doctors agreed that at this point it’s better for her to completely recover from her initial bleeding episode and then do the procedure later when she’s stronger. There is no emergency threat right now. If she looks as good as yesterday they plan to transfer her out of ICU. The goals before releasing her from the hospital are to manage pain and get her strong. The moved stent is not what is causing her pain, it is most likely aggravating what pain already existed. Dr. Lee is not worried about internal bleeding again - he irrigated the area a lot when he was in there yesterday and often times that can cause a bleed, which it didn’t.

If there is continual pressure pushing the stent out there is a risk of perforation with time, however the risk of perforating her while performing the procedure is higher. Dr. Giday was surprised it had moved – both doctors agree the tumor in-growth within the bile duct had pushed it out. Fixing this issue will be a challenge wherever she goes to get it addressed. Right now she needs to progress well with a diet and get pain under control. Fixing the issue is really a timing issue – they need to find a window of opportunity to do this when she’s at her most optimal health – right now her platelets are low and she’s weak from the internal bleeding.

Still in California

2009-08-12T21:37:00.003-04:00

Hello . . . from Sally. Just wanted to let you know that Carol isn't home yet. It's been a week of ups and downs . . . but here's the bottomline. The internal bleeding, which took Carol to the hospital in the first place, has been stopped. Seems Carol's stents were the culprit. Once the bleeding was stopped, she remained in ICU where they gave her blood and monitored some suspicious liver functions. Today, her vitals are strong and the liver tests are looking more normal. But pain persists. An endoscopy revealed that the stent which was inserted in July - inside the original stent - has slipped and is somewhat precariously resting in the duodenum now. Something that must be corrected.
So . . . ramp up the prayers, warriors. Carol will undergo a procedure tomorrow to move or remove part of the trouble-causing stent. Not just a routine procedure . . . so I ask your prayers that all goes well. A CT scan this evening will provide more information to guide the physicians at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, California.
Frank, Christine and Erik remain in California with Carol. Please keep them in your prayers as well.
I will report back tomorrow as soon as I know something.
Sally

From Frank in California

2009-08-07T14:44:00.002-04:00

Well, as usual with my lovely spouse, California has been an adventure! We have
had a great time with my family in non-humid Newport Beach. My Dad's 89th
birthday was a blast! Christine and Erik came out and Chip was up from San
Diego for the weekend. Carol was in her element. Unfortunately she continued to
have lower back pain throughout the 10 days, but with medication and sleep she
was able to control it. This last Wednesday we saw some wonderful friends from the
CBS board for lunch and then went out to dinner with my family where Carol
looked as our British friends would say "smashing". We were looking forward to
seeing all our dear friends in Oak Park and strategizing how best to
insure Carol would be in top shape to see everyone. (By the way we delayed the
trip by a day so that I could go with my brother Bob to a men's prayer breakfast
at Saddleback Church yesterday morning. It started at 6:30 so we left at 6:00am - hey,
I'm retired and not used to early hours but it was worth it! That church is
really on fire. As you will see following it was most definitely a "God thing")

When I returned just before 9, Carol complained of being nauseous and then in a
span of five minutes twice vomited only blood and couldn't get up. One of my
wonderful sisters-in-law (Michele) came running from her home, took one look and
called an ambulance. At the same time the fiancees of my two nephews showed up to stay
with my folks. Long story short, the ER folks at Hoag Hospital, a great regional hospital,
stabilized her and gave her blood. She was "scoped" early in the afternoon to stop the
bleeding but had bled so much that they could not see the source. She was then taken to
Interventional Radiology where they were able to stop the bleeds thru a catheterization
process. Praise the Lord! Carol spent the night in the ICU where they will monitor her
to make sure they stopped all the bleeding and then at least another two days
for healing and observation.

Needless to say we did not make Oak Park and will be in California a bit longer.
This all has been very scary but the Lord is watching over us and as always
blessing us here with family and a great nearby hospital. Though we wish we were
at Johns Hopkins! We will keep you posted on this at times bumpy journey. I
cannot begin to tell you how much your continued prayers mean to us-please pray
for a speedy recovery and ultimately a complete healing. We are in good hands . . .
our Lord's.

Carol asked to add this verse: "Great is Thy faithfulness. Morning by
morning new mercies we see."

Frank

California Here I am!

2009-07-29T14:58:00.001-04:00

Trip was great! Any pain twinges were sporadic with no biggies. Hey I was so 
excited to be taking this trip even the airplane food tasted good! (Maybe THAT 
was the miracle of the day!)

I was all prepped to show off my "Certificate Of Implant" to someone at TSA, but 
when they took me aside for the hand-screening they said "oh yes, we have people 
come through all the time with stents!" So much for any drama! Ha ha. And such 
service when we got here, Frank's youngest brother Paul picked us up at LAX and 
brought us right to the parents! 75 degrees, no humidity, just relaxing, reading 
and hanging out enjoying Southern California. 

Thanks so much for covering that plane trip in your prayers--again, again, 
again! 

Love,
Carol

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Back in the Fight & Steppin’ Out!

2009-07-27T22:47:00.000-04:00

Let’s see…update first. It doesn’t seem that the block was a “slam dunk” no pain whatsoever, but it certainly is much, much better than before I went in. I still am having the weird break through pain now and then that I just can’t figure out the cause or the explanation. I had lots of tests and the very best news is that the CT scan they did while I was at Johns Hopkins and during my time off chemo showed No Growth or Spreading of the tumor. I can only give God all the credit for that. He DID take care of me during that time just as we prayed.

So, I was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday, then immediately went downstairs to outpatient and started up on Chemo again. It is the same combination of Oxyplatin/Xeloda that was working. –AND the good news continues that I have no nausea after the first few days. That is the best! In fact, I am feeling so spunky that we decided to FLY to CALIFORNIA, leaving tomorrow! for 10 days to see friends and family before we have to be back here again for the next chemo infusion. (I get the chemo- the Oxyplatin- by IV every 21 days and then take it (the Xeloda) orally every morning and every evening in a pill for 14 of the 21 days).

Friday (the party is on Saturday), Frank’s dad has his 89th birthday! That’s a family party we don’t want to miss! And of course…we get to see Chip, who is driving up from San Diego for the weekend in Orange County!

At some point during the following week Frank and I are going to drive up to Thousand Oaks to visit all of our friends there. In fact, Paul and Mary Anne Alexander have offered to have everyone close by to the old neighborhood come by for dessert one evening that week. (I know I am being so selfish asking you to come to me…but it would be so great to see friends! I think it might be on Wednesday evening but I guess I should check it out with Mary Anne and Paul! Hee hee. -- SOoooooo, watch this space and I’ll just put it on the blog and spread the word so we can see you!) Friday morning we are back to DC in time for chemo IV the following Tuesday.

So, either this is going to be so freeing, or I am an idiot for taking on a big trip 3,000 miles from Dr. Dan and the team! I admit feeling a little nervous. I was looking at some wedding snapshots the other day and thought, WOW what an answer to so so so many prayers that God gave me such energy on that day. Now I am asking for TEN days! Hey…your prayers were so effective for the wedding..can I ask for your prayers again as we step out on this adventure? I am praying that I will listen to my body and rest when I need rest, and don’t overdo it so that I hit the wall and later chastise myself saying “well, you did that to yourself Carol!” Although I think I am most nervous about the long flight itself.

But when we told Dr. Dan that we were thinking of doing this, he was so supportive. And I get it…at some point, I need to Live Life during the 21 days between Hopkins appointments. So here we go.

That’s the news! I will keep you posted from my blackberry!

Love,

Carol

Update on Today's Procedure

2009-07-20T16:05:00.002-04:00

Well, just got back from the pain block procedure, so far so good. They said you
will feel as though you were kicked in the back by a mule. I do!! (But hungry!
As they were wheeling me back to my room on the gurney, Frank peeled off at the
food court and got me a nice veggie bagel which I just devoured! Yummy)

We are in a wait-and-see mode to see if the block was successful. If it worked-
no pain!!

Don't know if I am discharged today or tomorrow. Don't know when chemo
re-starts. So, moment by moment at this point.

Oh boy oh boy and thank you so much for your prayers!!! And do you know right
there on the "table", I smiled b/c the "guess" was right--they prepped me and
started up RIGHT at 11:00 am! Prayer time! I could feel it. Just surrounded by
love and a peacefulness as they were sticking those needles and fluids in me.

Wow, it is so great to be so loved. The more I think about it, isn't prayer the
most loving thing we can do for someone -- just lifting them up to the presence
of God and putting Him in control. Hmmm lots to think about.

Carol
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

BIG PRAYERS NEEDED!!!!!

2009-07-20T09:50:00.001-04:00

Big day pray-for-nerve-block- procedure-day today, thanks for watching this space.

Here’s the scoop. As you saw from Sally’s update (thanks Sally!) I have been here at Johns Hopkins since Thursday night trying to figure out what was bringing on the excruciating, acute in-the-back pain. It wasn’t constant, but when it came – wow-eee! Bottom line is that we really don’t know what is causing it, but they given me pain meds to control it any time it comes AND (today) they are going to go back in an do another nerve block in the back. (so I think I was repeating what you know from Sallly)

Prayer Today: As soon as I find out the time the procedure is scheduled, Sally will pop it on the blog, as so if you could please pray for the doctors (the same team that was so successful the last time!!) to be guided to the Precise Spot of the nerves to deaden them. THANK YOU.

In Carol’s head: I have thought a lot about it and concluded that this is so important to me, because it means that (recognizing that pain is just part of the deal here…) my pain can be controlled by deadening the nerves and NOT by just taking a pain pill. It’s me, I know. And I understand that these pain drugs are very effective, they are not addicting b/c they are truly hitting the pain and not just “feel good” feelings – but still, it’s my silly head and I just don’t want to have to live on pain pills. SO am I being selfish, yep. But will you still pray with me that the nerve block will work 100% as it did the last time so pain pills are not necessary?

Last night update: I had one pain episode at about 4 am…they gave me pain meds, but assured me that would not “deaden” all the pain at the time of the procedure today. (Interesting the Pain Mgmt team said that actually during the procedure a little pain is “good” for them b/c they can say to me, in real time, Do you feel that? Do you feel that? As they poke around and confirm they got to the nerves. So here’s a funny prayer request: Pray for Pain during the procedure!) btw, they were very quick to say…but Carol, we don’t want you in pain at all, it’s just that it would be a little “helpful!” ha, ha. I totally get it b/c that’s what they did the last time when it worked so well.

Cool thing today: Talk about God affirming that He is here today too!....at 7:40 am my phone rang and it was ANDREW! I didn’t recognize the number and thought it might be the doctors. He was calling from the wilds of camp up in Jackman, Maine. He is busy being a counselor, no cell or internet service up there so can’t read the blog or get emails and he just said, “Mom, I was just praying for you..and God just wanted me to call you and tell you that, so I came to the Camp Office and they let me use the phone. Just wanted to let you know I was praying.” WOW. Is that cool or what? I was crying. He was crying. We decided our God does give us JUST what we need just when we need it. God is good.

Watch this space; I’ll let you know when the procedure gets scheduled…and then will blog at the end of the day with an update on Answer to Prayer! Again. Thanks for walking with me.

Love you all,

Carol

OKAY…THEY JUST CAME IN AND TOLD ME…PAIN MANAGEMENT TEAM CALLED. THEY ARE READY FOR ME. BY THE TIME THEY GET ME OVER THERE AND ALL PREPPED LOOKS AS THOUGH THE PROCEDURE WILL BE IN ABOUT THE 11 – 1 TIME FRAME WOULD BE MY GUESS.

2009-07-19T07:03:00.002-04:00

Good morning Carol fans! Knew you’d be interested in “Carol’s capers” these last few days! She is resting comfortably at Hopkins, awaiting a re-do of the nerve block she had May 1st. That will happen tomorrow. I have cut and pasted her emails together to recap how she got there. So what you read below is from Carol’s Blackberry to my computer! Keep the blog notes coming. Carol loves to hear from all of you!!
Sally

From Carol:

Long story, but big unexplained lower back pain caused me to call in
to the Stent Doctor Thursday (b/c it was the last procedure I had had so asked them about
the pain). They said, most probably not the stent insertion--it had been 6 days.
On-call doc suggested -"go to ER, get a blood panel so they can get a good look.
So, upon good advice, we didn't go to the local ER (where they don't know my
history) Frank brought me back to JH Emergency Room on Thursday evening.
It was VERY good b/c they are cross-referencing records, etc.

So trip here was not an emergency, that was good -- just a "let's get to the
why this acute pain" is coming more and more frequently – mid-day and middle of
the night. And the "walk it off, it is just gas" theory didn't seem to be
working.

All tests so far showing all labs are very good:
Tests so far:
Blood panels (all good, liver, billirubin in normal range, etc)
Flat panel X ray
Sonogram of kidney (just showed lots of Gas)
Dry CT Scan of liver
Regular CT (which is great resource for Dr Laheru, oncologist b/c he can compare
cell growth with history CT results.)
Dr Sam Giday (GI) said last night he wants to watch colon for any swelling. But
doesn't see any signs of concern.

Lots of theories at this point:
Kidney stones (probably not)
Pancreatitus (I am on IV liquid only, resting pancreas. May go back on fluids
today)
Nerve block has worn off (I go in Monday for a re-do on that. That's good!) I
would say they are zeroing on this one.

Okay, so here’s another amazing God Is In the Details moment:

This is a great story: (skip to ending: Nerve Block will be done on Monday) The
Pain Management Post-Doc Resident just came by. (He looks JUST like Chip! 30 yrs
old. Blonde, blue eyes, same build. Is an Army Doctor working at JH in a Pain
Mgmnt residency-just graduated last week and is re-locating to San Antonio next
Tuesday - the day after my procedure. His name is Brandon.

He was all excited b/c he was telling me that JH just set up a new system and
MONDAY is the very first day! :). Apparently in the past the Pain Mgmt unit
would schedule procedures all on Outpatient (yes, like my last one) but if a JH
In-patient needed a procedure they would try to squeeze them in to an already over
full schedule and it caused stress, frustration and irked Med Staff who had to
be reacting with no advanced planning.

Starting Monday (coincidence?) They have their first "okay, we have a scheduled
opening, Go out and find us an In-Patient to take this Spot!!) ME! --- I can't
tell you how excited he was to have affirmation for the "new system"!

ALSO: I mentioned to him that Dr Ehrdik was the attending the last time and Dr
Harrison did the block and it was a PERFECT 100% home run. And Brandon said-- "oh!
Dr Ehrik is the doctor scheduled for Monday! (Coincidence?) And since we had our
Post Doc graduation last week ALL of the other Residents have left-- ONLY Dr
Harrison and I are still here." (Coincidence?)

Then we chatted about how he had just moved his wife and 2 little 4 year old
girls to San Antonio. And he looked at my table and said, "oh, I see what you
are reading here. Are you a Christian?". He too is a believer!!!! Oh our God is
just so amazing - affirming, showing His presence, and hugs to me again and
again.

Well, there is my God Story

So, here is my status: all tests, vitals, etc are stable. They all seem to think
the pain I was experiencing was break through pain from the old Nerve Block
(done on May 1st) and apparently this is typical to need a tune up of the block
after this duration. (About 3 months) I am staying here just for pain management
through the pain episodes/flare ups, waiting for the Monday Procedure. Then
Monday I go home or spend the night. They will decide. (I may just come back to
this room to spend the night for Tuesday chemo - IF Dr Dan still wants to go
ahead with that schedule. We'll just make a game time decision on that I guess)

.

In the meantime, I'm resting and hanging out. Had to take a pain hit a couple
hours ago. It doesn't work completely, but just taking it to a dull ache helps
b/c I at least know what it is.

Food: they are switching me from IV fliuds to oral liquids now that confirmed
pancreas is quiet. Maybe then solid food tonight. Basically I am just me,
waiting around 'til Monday's block.

Love,
Carol

Update from Frank

2009-07-08T20:42:00.001-04:00

Carol is home resting. All the prayers for the procedure were answered, thank you so much. Her blood pressure was great, vitals perfect and she quickly recovered after the procedure. The plastic stent is out and they again "roter

rooted" out the tumor in the duct and installed a new metal stent. We hope she will be able to restart chemo when she gets her strength back. The nurses had estimated that it would take about a week from her hospital release last

Saturday evening to regain her strength. Please keep praying for a total healing.

News Flash!!!

2009-07-07T19:06:00.000-04:00

Breaking news: Just got a call from Johns Hopkins. They are doing the ERCP, replacement of the plastic stent, TOMORROW, July 8^th at 10:30 am. So please pray for successful insertion of the stent and the general anesthetic. We’ll keep you posted.

Love,

Carol

Lots of News!

2009-07-07T15:22:00.000-04:00

I’m home! Ahhh, resting lots at the shore, on the screened porch with wonderful fresh air –so thankful to the docs at JH that got me back from that infection. I am still on some big antibiotics (Cipro and something else) so I’m sleeping lots. Also, they infused LOTS of fluid in me to get blood pressure up and fever down, so I came home from the hospital 27 pounds heavier! I told my doctor I look like the Michelin Tire Man with sausage toes! But I have been “draining”, constantly, it seems and soon I will be back to normal. Over the weekend, I was such a baby at the hospital. I was actually afraid to come home, that we would “miss” something (like a fever!) and get me back into the same mess again. There was a certain comfort about having my “vitals” checked every couple hours. But other than the bloating I was okay to come home, but I didn’t want to! They were great, and said, “sure, stay.” But after a day of lying around there, I had a real contentment that it would be just fine to go home and take my own temperature, antibiotics, etc! We are now in charge of me and doing our best to get me well again to get back into the fight!

Now we wait to hear from JH about a couple things: 1.when I go back in to resume chemo. 2. when they do the endoscope to replace the temporary plastic stent in the bile duct that goes from the liver, through the pancreas, to the duodenum with a fatter permanent metal one. (Apparently the infection was caused by “tissue blockage” of the stent they put in the bile duct a few months ago. That backed up and caused the infection.) The emergency plastic stent they put in to relieve to blockage is good for at least 6 weeks and my GI doctor (who is in China at meetings right now and emailed me from there!! Impressive!) is going to schedule me for a permanent replacement (he did the original stent and is fabulous-like the rest of my care team at JH).

Thanks so much for your prayers for me…and thanks for your comments on the blog! I can’t tell you how each one encourages me! I realize that I have friends who are funny, encouraging, uplifting, silly, LOVING, and most of all…thinking and praying for me. I am sorry that I don’t have the energy to answer emails and phone calls, but those comments really are just hugs, hugs, hugs. I know I just have to keep up my part of “us” and not let too many days go by without a blog entry.

SO, other family news! Frank retired after 37 years of the practice of law! (Army JAG; Lockheed; Litton; Northrop Grumman) Yep! He had originally intended to retire on his birthday next March, but moved the date up to July 1^st! He is now officially full time Nurse Ratchett and doing a great job at that! Last week his office had a wonderful, very meaningful, going away get-together for him. He came back to the hospital full of stories and comments and things folks had said to him. He was very, very touched. AND he is now the owner of Ping Golf Clubs! Frank has always said he wanted to learn to golf…now he has beautiful clubs and no excuse! Oh….and now he is after me to join him in his golfing adventures. I told him “first things first….I need to get the right outfits if I am going to look cute driving him around in a golf cart!”

Many of you have asked about Chip. Well, we just got an update from our favorite Marine Aviator yesterday. He will NOT be deployed to the Middle East in the next few weeks after all (THAT is a gift to mom! Praise God for that!) but instead he will stay stateside and has been selected as the pilot in his squadron to attend an elite school. (mmmm, proud mom moment!) called WTI. It means he will leave San Diego and will be at school in Arizona for six weeks this Fall (3 weeks academic, 3 weeks flying). He also found out that he was selected for a MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit – combines troop units and elements from all the different Marine aircraft on one ship. They pick the ‘best of the best’ pilots to go on a ‘float’ and are expedited to hot spots around the globe as needed. Needless to say only a few helicopter pilots are selected, so that’s very cool.) The timing is perfect b/c they don’t ship out until next Spring. It will also enable him to finish all his “Qualifications” as well as his WTI which then makes him one of the senior instructor pilots (I think I have this all right, but then I’m a Mom).

Newlyweds are doing great. Christine back at work, Erik is in for Summer School, teaching Latin to those lucky boys! No word yet on the “on line” photos from the wedding photographer, but I will let you know as soon as her website is up. I bet she got some great photos of the special day! We can’t wait to see them.

Specifics:

Please pray boldly with me that:

God will heal this cancer while I am off chemo…and for peace of mind for me during this time.
all the infection will clear out of my system asap
when I get back on chemo, I selfishly hope it will be the same “no symptoms”/ no growth. (That was wonderful b/c I truly felt as though I was in the maintenance mode)
God will bless my wonderful husband who is AMAZING in caring for me and just “being there” through the ugly stuff with such grace and love
Keep the kids safe

Thanks!

Much love to you all,

Carol

Today's Update

2009-07-02T17:19:00.002-04:00

Just got word from Frank that Carol's vital signs are stable. They are encouraging her to get up and walk around. And keeping her on broad spectrum antibiotics to fight this infection. No word on when she will be released. But things are lookin' up!!
Sally

Roto-Rooter to the Rescue

2009-07-02T06:12:00.002-04:00

Seems that the high fever of Wednesday was a symptom of a "massive infection" around the area of Carol's stent. Most likely due to a blockage in the stent itself. Last night, in an endoscopic procedure, the blockage was "roto-rootered" out and a small plastic stent was put inside the original stent to allow for drainage. Once the infection is knocked down . . . with heavy doses of IV antibiotics . . . the plastic stent will be removed. That will probably happen next week. In the meantime, Carol will be in the hospital a little while longer til they get the fever down and the infection under control.

So . . . a bump in the road for our girl. But for Carol . . . not a problem! She's eager to get past this one, get back on the chemo schedule and back in the fight!!

Sally

A Bump in the Road

2009-06-30T20:10:00.001-04:00

Had some bummer news at Johns Hopkins today. When I arrived for my chemo it appeared that I had a fever of 104 and jaundice and liver pressure. So, they admitted me and I am in overnight until they they get the fever down and blood pressure up. Also have to keep jaundice clear. Seems that it’s all being caused by a blockage or obstruction in my biliary stent. Basically only thing to do is a “rotorooter” of the stent which will be done when symptoms are gone.

So now I'm waiting/sleeping here in a very private, modern, large, room. Just
had a xray and EKG in my room! What service :). Now for a stroll with Frank
(the male nurse offered to escort me but you know Frank) through the halls-helps lower the risk of bloodclots and stroke. When we get back they put special compression bands on my legs.

Oh, and my blood pressure was very low when I got in here today - they finally got it up to 83/58 throughout the day and they want to get it up to at least 90. Before they can do anything else. But the good news is that my weight (which started at 153, dropped to 127, is now a whopping 143--WITH no sugar, red meat, hormonal chicken. Yay!!!

Not sure how long I will be in here. But they need to get the temp down,
infection cleared, stent cleared out, and chemo started up again so we can keep
in the fight. I want to keep these down times (no chemo) to a minimum!!!!

I realize, my prayer warriors, that I have given you quite a list to pray for!

Love,
Carol

Wonderful News and Answer to Prayer!

2009-06-24T17:22:00.000-04:00

"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know, says the Lord."

Well He did!!!!

Today was the Johns Hopkins day for blood draw, CT Scan and appointment with Dr. Laheru - my wonderful, dedicated oncologist.

CT Scan showed NO NEW TUMORS and NO GROWTH OF EXISTING TUMORS. Blood markers are down!! So this is it!!! The new chemo regimen is the Right One!!

As Dr Laheru told us in the beginning, if we can just "stop cells from growing"
that is success--as we continue working on a cure for pancreatic cancer!

So I now have a "chronic condition" that we treat with daily chemo!

Next thing: back to Johns Hopkins next Tuesday for the IV infusion of chemo and I continue to take chemo pills each morning/evening. The first few days there is nausea. Hey! I'm not complaining!! I will go every 21 days for chemo IV
infusion at Johns Hopkins..

CT Scan every 2 months to see that this chemo recipe is still working and has
not been out-smarted by the cancer cells. I will keep you posted.

Please join with us as we Thank God for HIS hand in this wonderful result. --
and please continue to pray for complete healing! -- "Stopping growth" is a
success to the JH team, but hey, I'm selfish!!

Other updates:
My mom drove safely 6 hours back to Cleveland yesterday with a promise to be
back soon.

Christine is back to work at the new rotation assignment at the Pentagon and
really, really likes it - and her new co-workers. Erik is off to Ivanhoe for 10
days with the boys. We saw the little wife yesterday for dinner and she misses
her husband!

Andrew heads out today for the 16 hour drive to Maine to his camp job for the
summer.

Chip is the big news! He just heard yesterday that he will NOT be deployed to
Afghanistan with the rest of his unit in a few weeks-- instead he will stay in
San Diego because he was selected for a Marine Expeditionary Unit that deploys
next Spring. (They send the unit out on a ship to be "expedited" to hot spots
around the globe as needed.). Of course I am thrilled b/c it means Chip is on
our same continent and just an easy flight away for visits!!

Oh, and about eating: I am taking all your advice on healthy eating. Whole
Foods is our new market! Mega fruits and vegetables, all organic, no
preservatives, and cottage cheese/flaxseed oil every day. And no sugar. I keep
reading that Cancer Loves Sugar, so that's no fun b/c so does Carol!

We are still on Cloud Nine with this wonderful news!!! Wahoo! Thank you God!

"In my distress I called to the Lord and He answered me. From the depths I called for help. And you listened to my cry." Jonah 2:2

Love to you ALL! Thanks for standing by me in friendship and in prayer. I am
humbled.

Carol

Better and Better

2009-06-20T15:26:00.002-04:00

What’s that Beatles song?? ….
It's getting better all the time, Better, better, better
It's getting better all the time, Better, better, better
Getting so much better all the tiiii iiiime!

This week as been amazing on the new chemo! NO Symptoms. No nausea, vomiting. No weird combo of constipation and diarrhea (tmi, I know!), even the fatigue has disappeared! I have gained 10 pounds! I am feeling so strong and full of energy!

This week was the annual Defense Industry Ethics meeting and so we went back into DC and I went to the meetings every day! In fact, listen to this, yesterday I went to the meeting in the morning, Frank and I had lunch with a friend at Old Ebbit’s Grill, went home to have a visit with Phyllis and Peg (girlfriend time!), immediately went off to a dinner with my best DII pals, home by 9 pm and still ready for action. (Frank was like “okay, energizer bunny, Get To Bed!) ha ha. Anyway, I just couldn’t resist giving you a snapshot of that amazing day!

Honeymooner update: Mr. & Mrs. Maginnis returned last night from their honeymoon in Barbados. I went to the DII meeting this morning then we had lunch, and photo viewing, with the newlyweds before coming out to the shore. They had a wonderful time and are all relaxed and in looooove. Erik leaves Monday to take the boys on the service trip to Ivanhoe for a week.

Tomorrow I am going to a bridal shower for the soon to be daughter-in-law of our sweet neighbors here on the shore. Then on Sunday we are heading back into DC, and I am going with my mom, Christine and Peggy Anne to meeting with Dr. Brenda Hunter a cancer survivor “nutrition guru”. I am really interested to hear what she has to say. I keep hearing more and more and more about helping your body/immune system join in the fight by eating the right things. So I expect to hear lots about raw veggies and fruits, maybe green tea?..who knows. But I am looking forward to it. (Send any advice my way.) When I was in the clinical trial at Johns Hopkins (and I assume now) they were very clear on “No Supplements” since they can actually interfere with the chemo… but they did encourage us to learn more about healthy eating. So I’ve been reading.

Tuesday mom heads back to Ohio, having declared me “Eating just fine!” with a promise to be back the moment we call, or she gets in the mood for a visit.

Wednesday will be a big day. CT Scan to see if this chemo is stalling or even killing the cells (they will measure the tumors on the liver and other organs) and then an appointment with Dr. Laheru. If, if, if it is possible that I can take THIS chemo, in THIS dose and feel like THIS… we are talking huge success and you ALL need to come to the Eastern Shore for a visit b/c I’ll have energy for LOTS of fun times if I can stay on this chemo regime…for years! ☺

So, there’s my latest! Unbelievable that this is the same me of just weeks ago…unbelievable, really. (and so WHY do I say unbelievable?!)….hmmm, guess I’ll just continue to say “Thank You.”

Post-wedding-back-in-the-fight-Chemo Update

2009-06-12T18:35:00.000-04:00

I am looking through the Psalms, there has got to be just the right HALLELUJAH verse in there where David just says Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for the blessing. But none seems to be enough!

As you know, we went back up to Johns Hopkins to get going again on the new chemo. You won’t believe this…the anticipated side effects of nausea (NOPE!); fatigue (SOME, but what’s a nice nap now and then); tingling fingers/toes (nope!) are so minimal.

But it’s that nausea! Not A BIT so far. I know they told us that the symptoms can be cumulative and maybe I’ll ramp up a bit as the days go by…but so far, I am tummy happy! (and eating, eating, eating just to prove it!)

They have me on the same dosage level that they say 90% of the folks who are on this combo take. So it is a bit of a down-dosage from last month…so of course you know me…I’m thinking ~ is this working? I am not sufffffffering? (A sign of a sick mind, I know.) But that’s where the patience comes in again. We won’t know until the next round of tests to “look back” and see if this poison is the right poison for my cells. Please keep praying that it is…but I do know that if it is not, then there’s just another plan.

When we were at JH, Sally & Frank & I met the neatest couple. Bill Forbes was told several years ago that he had 6 weeks to live with pancreatic cancer. And there he was! Full of stories. When he and his wife asked which chemo treatment I was on, and we told them, they said, “Oh, Bill had a great year and half on that!” That was so encouraging…. (He also told me that he had had the Whipple surgery that works for some pancreatic patients, but his cancer came back…he also cited that 90% of folks who have the Whipple have returning cancer. So that was interesting. Anyway, in my case, (some of you have asked) I’m not a candidate for the Whipple…too many cancer cells spread around to too many places. That’s okay. God has a different plan for me.

I don’t want to ramble on and on, just wanted to give the good news and ask you to Thank God along with me, Praising Him for continued blessings…who would have thought after the great day of the wedding. Ah, me of little faith…I thought that was a “one day” blessing….but nope! God intended blessing upon blessing and I’m loving it! We are still out at the Eastern Shore hanging out.

Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for your unceasing prayers.

Love,

Carol

A Few More Wedding Pictures

2009-06-09T21:27:00.002-04:00

Sally,Carol & Peggy Anne
The wedding site!
Mr. & Mrs. Erik Maginnis

The Wedding Report!

2009-06-09T07:16:00.002-04:00

Sally!! I just looked at the blog! You good girl! Thanks for getting some wedding news up for our friends…and where did you get those cute pix? I love them Sally! (and we have MORE!)…

Okay, gang, Bear With Me…it’s Mom time! I want to tell you all about the wedding. It was a perfect day! Yesterday I received a lovely card from Dixcy, our sweet neighbor next door, and let me share with you a couple things she said that were a perfect description of the day: “…On this eve of your daughter’s wedding, I am praying for complete sunshine and joy in your hearts and hoping that for this weekend – time will stand still. That sorrows of the past or worries of the future will not enter your thoughts. That you will be completely enveloped in the presence of God’s Love….” THAT is a perfect description of the day.

First…all about me! ☺ It was as though God ensured that there was not one OUNCE of chemo in my body or one misguided CELL anywhere. I was me! Not once during the whole day was I tired or weary, worried or distracted…and I’m telling you...I was not faking it! It was a total gift from God..an answer to your many prayers everywhere. It was a gift to me, to Christine, (who is my lil worrier) to Frank, and all our family, my boys…everybody could see…this was MOM! And I was THERE! Totally there….in the dress that Christine picked out for me (on sale, yay!) and had hanging in the closet in sizes 12, 10, 8! okay, nuf about me. BUT, I was fabuloso as my sister in law Michele would say! Praise God b/c it was indeed blessings upon blessings all day!

Wedding was on Saturday of course, but Friday, as you saw from the email that I sent to Sally that she cut and pasted for all of you,..it rained (um poured!) all day Friday. I mean it poured. Buckets! We had a bit of a reprieve for the rehearsal as the kids squished thru the grass practicing walking to the beautiful little archway that Amy created by the water. Oy vey! But they were wonderful sports, hiking up their skirts and kicking off their shoes. Then the rain came again as we dashed to the happy, love-filled Rehearsal Dinner that Erik’s mom and dad (Chuck and Ruth Anne Maginnis! WE LOVE THEM) hosted for 100 people! It was an Eastern Shore buffet with oysters, crab cakes, cream of crab soup and lots of yummy food…which I “ate like a trucker”…as my dear husband describes. It was wonderful. (The only intimidation was the wonderful, heartfelt, articulate, lovely toast Chuck Maginnis made to welcome the about-to-be-joined families…Frank was feeling the pressure for Saturday night!)

Saturday morning was overcast…sun was teasing around…but there was a wonderful BREEZE…and.. fast forward, by the time of the ceremony at 5 pm the grass was totally dry (yep!) and the sun was shining. The only funny thing was that for our guests, instead of walking around the side of the house to the back yard for the ceremony everyone had to come UP the front steps, ACROSS the porch, THRU the front door, and OUT the back door, DOWN the steps to the yard! Ha ha. That was a little funny….but as Frank said, it made us feel like, “Hi friends..come on over to our house and into the back yard to share in Erik and Christine’s WEDDING!”

The ceremony was unbelievable! So many people commented on how thoughtful and meaningful Pastor Mike’s words to the couple were. He had a wonderful way of weaving scripture and Biblical truths and conventional wisdom and humor. We loved that, as he was speaking, Erik and Christine were so intent…nodding their heads at him, looking at one another at this point or that…it was as though the 3 of there were up there having a conversation and the rest of us were listening in on the wise words that Pastor Mike was sharing with these two wonderful people. But on the other hand, we all felt blessed by what Pastor Mike was saying, because it was wisdom for new and seasoned marriages. It was beautiful. Oh! And it was cool….after The Kiss and Pastor Mike pronounced them man & wife, they strolled out (see photo!) ...went back into the house for some alone time….and Pastor Mike kept the rest of us there! And he had a special “Charge to the Family and Friends” where he took some time and basically said….”okay you saw an extraordinary exchange of promises here between two every special adults…but now YOU have a job…” and he talked to us, every one of us, about our role in supporting their MARRIAGE, and their promises, and their commitments that they made. It gave me goose bumps. I was not just an observer…every one of us was In a Support Role of this marriage for a lifetime. Anyway, I’m not doing it justice, but let me say, it was very cool. We all felt it!

After the ceremony, we had a wonderful reception, sun is still shining, nary a cloud in sight from then on! Our friends and neighbors here on Goose Neck Road made Christine and Erik a “wedding burgee” that was flying from our flag pole, ruffling in the warm breeze thru the wedding..I’ll have to post a picture of it for you. It was neat!

There was that weird time when they take the wedding party off for pictures, we noshed on yummy hors d’houvres but soon the kids were back! Then the party began. Wow-eee! So much fun. Erik and Christine started off with a Dance! They had so much fun going to dancing lessons for 4 weeks and learned a dance to one of their favorite songs: “More” – started out with a slow fox trot then broke into swing..and a DIP! It was so fun..everyone was clapping and cheering them on! Our Erik has quite the moves on the dance floor. He was charming!! No wonder Christine is smitten!

From then on the dance floor was never empty! Erik picked every single song that was played and insisted on “crooner music” during dinner. It was so wonderful…we actually all couldn’t stop our dancing-feet and were dancing before and during dinner! So what! It was fun to dance to the Old Stuff….and we have some friends who can really cut up the rug, so it was fun to watch AND join in! (Made me wish my dad was there..my mom & dad were QUITE the dancers…but my mom had lots of dances during the night. She didn’t turn down one fella, and at one point I noticed two young guys asking Grandma Ruth to dance!)

Frank and Christine had a beautiful dance to James Taylor’s song, “You’ve Got a Friend”…you know (sing along here)..”when you call out my name…you know wherever I am, I’ll come running, cuz you’ve got a friend…..” It was very sweet. By the end the Maginnis family and we were all on the dance floor.

After dinner with the “real dancing”--- it was a blast! EVERYONE was up and dancing! To all sorts of wonderful music ... you just couldn’t stay in your seat! Even Frank and me! And Andrew and me, and Chip and me, and Mike, and Howie, …I danced and danced! Oh…this is funny….you know how the kids do that thing where they get in a big circle and they are all dancing up and down but someone is in the circle…well Andrew comes over and grabs me and WE danced in the middle of the circle!! Now THAT was a God thing…I wouldn’t have done THAT in the “old me!” hee hee.

OH!! And then the surprise! At some point in the reception, the DJ said, “please come to the dock, the neighbors of Goose Neck Road have a surprise for the family”….and there were FIREWORKS! No kidding! Phil was over setting off REAL fireworks. It was like a fairy tale! I couldn’t believe it! Not a cloud in the sky and there were Erik and Christine looking up at beautiful, firey, bouquets in the sky! Our good friends George & Nanci, Susie & Steve and the GNR gang had us all speechless!

Well, at 11:45 I looked around and thought – ooops, I was supposed to be limping out of here at 9:00 feeling sorry for myself at missing the party and here I am! God, YOU are amazing! So many folks stayed right to the end, not just the youngsters! It was unbelievable! At midnight, the last dance came, we were soon tucked in bed, couldn’t believe the day that God had given us.

Sunday morning was another beautiful day….the gardens were again lovely ... perfect. About 150 people came back over for brunch by the water. It was relaxed and fun. Many of our Goose Neck Road neighbors came so that made it so special too. They have been so amazing this whole wedding week…AND they allowed us the special treat to have all of Frank’s brothers invited to stay on the road and so all week we had Marshall brothers and cousins walking and bike riding up the lane to stop and out. It was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

Whew! So what more can I tell you??…Frank, mom, the boys, c&e, and I are still amazed at ME! I am still feeling great. I would say that it wasn’t until 5 pm Sunday evening when Peggy Anne and Scott left that I finally felt like….hmmm, think I need a nap. I wouldn’t even say I crashed…just slumped! The kids left Sunday night, off to Barbados for their honeymooning. When they get back, Erik goes off with “his boys” – students from the high school where he is a Latin teacher - for a mission trip to West Virginia (I think) for a week. So they will have their honeymoon to rest and will be back at it when they return. Christine will start a new rotation in the Lockheed Martin Finance Leadership Development Program…for this one she will be based at the Pentagon..so she is very excited about that for the year ahead.

Chip left today, along with the Marshall brothers, to return to Southern California. He has a busy few days ahead with some flights scheduled…he is waiting to hear if he goes to back to the Middle East soon (like within a month or so) or later…(like next year)! So that will be our next news. Please pray that God will orchestrate that just right for Chip. As always, we had wonderful conversations with our USMC aviator Captain Chip,…but this time it was clear that the timing of “going to Iraq”/ “going on other assignment” will have long term ramifications b/c of other assignments that flow from this timing…like 8 years out! You military guys out there “get it” on this, but it was all very fascinating to me how one timing decision can have such an impact.

Andrew is still home to hover over mother, but we gotta get him out of here b/c he worries about me too much. (although I have to say, he has the quickest draw on the little buckets with the nausea strikes!.. and produces a nice damp cloth for my neck that I never realized felt so good! ha ha) Andrew will soon be off to be a counselor at a wonderful Christian camp up in Maine – google “Moose River Outpost” You’ll want to go too! It’s a high adventure camp for teens. Andrew will specialize in Wake Boarding and Paint Balling….oooo, it will be a tough summer of ministry! Hee hee.

As you saw from Sally, we are back to Johns Hopkins tomorrow for a nice blood draw then back to chemo. I’m ready. Yep. I AM READY! I think I will go back on the same cocktail they were trying last month…so please pray that the Oxyplatin/Xeloda combination is the right one for these pesky cancer cells AND that they won’t be so smart this time to out maneuver the chemo-poison so quickly. The side effects are nausea and fatigue….but I have been eating like a horse (um, thanks to the ½ steroid Ella Mae has me taking each day..rats..there goes my aspirations to be a professional athelete!) and have gained back a 4 pounds over the past week. Yay! Ali gave me some advice from her dad to try “sugared ginger” for nausea…so I’ve got my stash that Pam provided and I’ll try that for the nausea.

Okay. So BIG BIG BIG thank you to you all, and to God, for the evidence of His Love and your prayer faithfulness in this past weekend. Not just a beautiful joining of two very pure hearts…but the many, many, many tiny miracles during the week and days leading up to the day.

Pictures: !....We have 1277 pix that friends have already given to Peggy Anne on their “cards” on Sunday morning and the photographer (Laura Thorpe – In His Grace Photography) is going to put pix on her website..I’ll let you know the link (ABF Girfriends!!) and if you want, you can see the whole blessed day! – but now I feel as though I am being pushy. But I must say..it WAS a beautiful day. God was there. You’ll see.

All filled up and spilling over with Love for you all,

Carol

PS. Look for more pics later!!

The Storybook Wedding

2009-06-08T18:34:00.002-04:00

I want you to hear the details of the wedding from Carol. But in the meantime, I know you are all eager to see the beautiful bride and GORGEOUS mother of the bride! The wedding was perfect in every way. The ceremony was at the water's edge . . . Christine and Erik flanked by a very good looking wedding party and lots of hydrangeas. The sun set over the beautiful tent, also by the water. And when night fell the sky was filled with a fabulous display of fireworks!

Your many, many prayers were heard . . . and answered! God gave Christine and Erik a lovely day, a beautiful sunset, a full moon over the water and a wedding to remember!

Sally

2009-06-05T12:35:00.002-04:00

Hi there! I am signing on just to share a little happy news! Found an email from Carol very early this morning and I wanted to share these excerpts:

"I would not have missed this week at the shore for anything. It has been a perfect build up…rested up nicely from the day at JH…which seems to tire me out, funny when it was really only hydration. But each day I have done better and better and now I am so close to the “old me.” Family and friends started arriving yesterday and I can tell on the look on people’s faces, they are surprised at how GOOOOOOOOOOD I look! Thinner, but good.

The bride is doing wonderfully! Not a hint of stress in sight. She is a picture of peace and grinning happiness! (even yesterday when the wine merchant told them….oops, sorry, we are 5 cases short on the red wine that you ordered! /She just said..okay, well talk to my dad, he’ll work out a substitute! Cute.) and she is totally non-plussed by this rain. (although I heard you had a torrential downpour yesterday…that never made it over here. over cast yesterday but no rain yesterday.)

I have been so good allowing everyone to boss me around to rest. And actually I just get up, walk out of the room, come into our bedroom here (which is SO quiet b/c it is fully separate from the house (no second story)) and I hang out…sometimes I nap, sometimes read. all’s good. It’s been fun to watch the gardeners transform the yard. The tent is up and it doesn’t take up as much room as I was afraid that it was. I woke up this morning to the pitter patter of rain and thought “boy Lord, you are adding weather-trust to Christine and Erik’s faith walk in this wedding!! But weatherman says sunny tomorrow! "

So . . . as you can see . . . Carol is feeling energized, strong and happy!

And I just wanted you all to know :-)

Sally

PS Watch this space! Photos to come following the wedding!

Update time!

2009-05-31T21:19:00.001-04:00

Well let’s see, I was a mess at the Hopkins appointment last week. True to form, Sally beat us up there, so that when Frank pulled up to the drop-off, Sally had a wheelchair ready, had primed Ella Mae (my wonderful chemo nurse who is a total crack up – but SO dedicated) and I just wobbled in and up to oncology where I flopped into the bed and they took some blood (potassium is down, mom is feeding me sweet potatoes!) did the whole blood pressure thing (not great) but then I had a nice long nap as the IV pumped a few bags of hydration and some steroids (oh yeah) – I was told my cheeks pinked up nicely and finally I quit returning tummy contents! (There is a theory that the nausea is from STILL coming off the pain meds, and possibly not the chemo. We’ll see.)

Dr. Dan even made a bedside visit. (oh! Pray for Dr. Dan and the team…they make their big presentation on their very successful clinical trial next week) in the end, Dr. Dan had Ella Mae take me off all chemo, put me on 3 anti-nausea drugs that poor Frank had to administer every 3 hours….Andrew volunteered for the 2 a.m. dosing! Nice to have a nocturnal 21 yr old home for a few weeks! But the drugs kicked in after a few days and, that, along with a ½ steroid pill, now have me eating like a trooper.

My mom (Ruth) arrived from Cleveland last week to take charge of all cooking and over-mothering….and she is doing a great job of it! Those of you who know my mom, won’t be surprised that she insisted on driving alone (in her new car!) from Cleveland to DC. (Couldnn’t be here without her wheels!) As I remind Frank, who even HE is feeling overfed, cooking is my mom’s Love Language and she is loving all over us!

So, I am eating, gaining some weight, more tired than I would like to admit, but trying to save up energy for the WEDDING! Next week is the big week with all the festivities. We are having tons of rain back here, so may I ask you to please BOTH pray for a cure for cancer AND a nice sunny weekend next weekend for the wedding in our backyard at the shore.

I will post wedding pix, if you will indulge me. After the wedding, I go back up to Johns Hopkins to jump back into the fight. They are going to put me back on the same meds, so that means every 3 weeks I will go for an infusion of Oxaliplatin and then each day I will take morning/evening doses of Xeloda chemo pills. (I understand it’s a pretty common combo.)

I know I should be so happy that my stomach has calmed down from the every hour (3 hours max between bouts of vomiting..it was terrible!) but on the other hand, I feel as though I am “off meds” and what about that cancer???! I find that I am worried about it. So please pray that God has stopped the cells during this time of “no chemo pills.”

We got an email from Ella Mae who wants me back up at JH tomorrow morning “just so I can lay my eyes on ya…” So back up there we go tomorrow for some blood letting, and check over. I also have an appointment on Thursday before the wedding, so Ella Mae will have me all spiffed up for the weekend.

Thanks again for your prayers for the doctors, me, Frank, Andrew, Chip (flying in from Miramar on Thursday), Christine & Erik and Sally!

Love,
Carol

2009-05-25T22:20:00.000-04:00

Hi Everyone,

Frank here, taking Carol’s dictation.

Thank you for all the encouraging blog and email responses. Please keep the prayers coming. This last week has been, to say the least, difficult. As you know because of my body’s reaction, it was determined best for me to come out of the clinical trial.

But we were told when we started in this journey that there were many arrows in the quiver to address this cancer. So last Monday I was put into a different chemo protocol where I would receive an infusion once every three weeks for several hours and then take chemo pills for another 14 days with a week of rest. We were thrilled as the timing worked really well for Christine’s upcoming wedding. Unfortunately my body hasn’t responded well to this protocol-I’ve been nauseous and sick since starting last week, notwithstanding a number of anti-nausea medications (our shelf looks like a pharmacy!). We fortunately have a previously scheduled appointment tomorrow for an IV hydration and will address all these symptoms and the course forward. The good news I’ve pretty much weaned myself off of the morphine, the bad news is I haven’t felt like eating and what I have has not stayed down. Frank does say that notwithstanding the 30 pound weight loss I look great-he’s biased :☺ so somewhat untrustworthy ☺, I’d rather be able to eat and hold it all down.

All the wedding plans are locked in (we’re also counting on the weather for this out door wedding) and our neighbors on Goose Neck Road have been tremendously supportive and helpful-so I just need to show up.

A friend quoted from a song “Whispering Hope”, which I find encouraging “Will not the deepening darkness brighten the glimmering star”. She went on to remind me that no matter what the situation is now, God has a plan for me to include to completely heal me. I know this as my heart is firmly fixed on our Lord. Ps 112:7

Again, thank you all, your prayers and words of encouragement are awesome and are so inspiring and helpful to me. Stay on your knees!!

Will let you know how tomorrow goes. Love, Carol

2009-05-19T06:21:00.002-04:00

Good morning Carol fans! Just checking in to let you know that Carol sailed through the first treatment of her new chemo regimen with flying colors yesterday. The prayer now must be to keep the nausea at bay so this girl can gain some weight!

Carol asked me to tell you that she loves mail! Email, snail mail, any mail you want to send her. And she loves comments on the blog. Just please don't expect a reply! It takes too much energy. You know Carol . . . she would answer every single message if she got started!

Carol's mom Ruth arrives tomorrow as the wedding draws near. And the Marshalls are headed to the Eastern Shore for the holiday weekend. Carol promises to post soon!

xoxo
Sally

Course Correction – New chemo meds on the way!

2009-05-15T16:33:00.002-04:00

Well that pesky cancer is fighting back after our first month of such great results (dimmer spots on the PET and lower CA 19 Blood Marker). Unfortunately, while the results of my recent PET/CT tests were essentially consistent with last month’s, the CA 19 blood marker from the latest blood test showed a 30-40% increase in that blood marker (this blood marker is used an indicator but is not necessarily definitive as to what is going on)..

Here is what I love about our JH team. They met with us yesterday and said, “Here’s what we are seeing. We are changing. Let’s move on to Plan B.”

As Howard just said to me, “Carol. It’s like chess. Move/Countermove.” I can relate to that thought.

So here’s what it means: I am off the “Gemsar” chemo, so no more weekly Thursday chemo + no clinical drug. I am out of the clinical trial b/c the doctors said that with my physical condition and the increase in the markers and what they see in the CT scan it was obvious that my cancer is resistant to that drug combo.

They are moving me over to a different drug that has been very successful in both colon (not me) and pancreas (that’s me) cancers.

I am excited that the new drug is given only once every three weeks by IV at Hopkins and then I take some pills in addition. I don’t remember the names of the drugs….we have it all written down somewhere. This new regimen has some of the same side effects – fatigue, nausea (oh yay) and then some potential neuropathy (tingling) in the toes and fingers that they say they can control, I just have to keep them posted. They also mentioned the creepiest thing that I hope I never experience – apparently some patients have found that within 2-5 days after the infusion, if they touch something cold (like in the frig) or drink a cold drink, they get the FEELING that they can’t breathe. You CAN breathe, it just FEELS like you can’t breathe. So you can get a little panicky. (a little??!!) so, I figure I am going just avoid refrigerators and wear mittens for 5 days after each infusion and not take the risk. Ha ha! So if you see me with fuzzy mittens in August you will know why!

So, yesterday was a bit of a downer, but you know….God says, “My mercies are new every morning” – and I was amazed how I lived that assurance just this morning. I feel just fine! I am full of hope that this new combo will work and anxious to get on with it. In fact even when we were in the meeting with the JH doctors, and when Dr. Dan called later last night, I found that I keep saying, “This is just different, not defeated.” I really don’t feel distressed over this change.

I will praise your name, oh Lord, for it is good. Psalm 54. I know You are on my side! Whew…and I thank You for that!

Oh! And thanks Kris for the tip on the nausea. (I was worried that the nausea drugs were making me sick..) well, thanks to your advice about drinking Coke Classic (just like Frank’s dear friend and college room mate Mark!) I have not had nausea for at least 20 hours! Yay!! AND you will be pleased to know that I am learning to eat whenever I don’t have that nauseous feeling. Btw, any advice out there for weight gain my friends, please post it.

Other good news is that with the “every 3 weeks” of the new chemo, that means I will still have the week off before Christine and Erik’s wedding. I am so happy about that! It’s hard to believe that the special, special day is only 3 weeks away. I don’t go back in for chemo then until the Monday after the wedding. What a gift of timing that is!

Please pray that this is the “right one” ~ that the tumors will shrink, the cells will diminish and side effects are mimimal.
Pray for Frank - for his strength, yet transparent compassion. He is amazing.
And while I’m at it…would you please pray for our kids as they walk this journey:
For Christine and Erik’s wedding – for great weather, safe travels for all, for God's continued blessing in the details
For Chip so far away in San Diego at Miramar Air Station. He will be able to come home for the wedding! Yay! Then he deploys to the Middle East in late July.
For Andrew who just found out he will be working again this summer at Moose River Outpost, a wonderful Christian Camp up in Maine.

I was thinking another good thing about this ‘every 3 weeks chemo’ maybe if the fatigue isn’t so bad, we could make a car trip to Maine to see Andrew this summer!! More on that plan later ☺

So, that’s it for now. Although I’m feeling so good this weekend, I have a couple more blogs in me!! I want to send you all a photo of my CBS gals and of Wolf von Kumburg, so watch this space. Please do post a little something to the blog if you have a second. I treasure the little glimpses of knowing you’re out there. (what a baby I am!!) ☺

Love you bunches,

Carol

p.s. someone told me, if it won’t take, and if you don’t have a gmail account, then comment as “anonymous” and then sign your name, initials, whatever! xoxo

Basking in Birthday hugs!

2009-05-10T19:45:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am, too many days past my birthday, admitting that it has taken me a while to read all of your wonderful posts to the blog on my special day. I can’t tell you how much those little sentences mean to me. It truly, truly is like a hug from each of you..and from all around the globe! I can see each of your faces in the posts that you put up…in China, Italy, Zambia, Luxembourg, UK, Canada, Germany, Dubai, Malaysia, California, New Jersey, Arizona, Seattle, Toledo, Georgia and, and, and …..oooo EVERYBODY, everywhere the list just goes and goes and goes and I SEE you and just imagine you as you say the words! (okay, yeah, yeah, I’m teary now! blubbering actually.) How can I tell you how much, much, much you mean to mean in this time and this place that I am? I hate this, but I love you. And I love the way you quietly reach out to me with your kind words on the blog and knowing above all that in the words and in the silence you are praying for me ~ each in your own way, talking to our great and mighty God about ME. It is a bit overwhelming. Thank you.

I have to tell you, it was so funny, the week after “56th Birthday in the ER” I do remember thinking, as I was showered with Birthday cards…how do all these folks know that it is my birthday. Then someone ‘fessed up and told me that Sally spilled the beans on the blog! ☺ You lil sneak!

Then I learned that so many of you have made a donation to the Johns Hopkins Pancreatic Cancer Research fund in honor of my birthday. Oh my goodness! I was so touched. At first I felt presumptuous, like “asking” for a birthday present…but after fussing over that thought for a while, I was reminded and realized that I am In This For The Cure! My desire is to see a cure for this disease DURING my lifetime….and your thoughtful donation may be just the gift that accounts to the cure of this horrible, horrible disease. So, I’m over it…and am just thanking you so much for your generosity. I wish each of you could meet Dr. Dan Laheru and his team of researchers. Believe me; your investment is in good, responsible hands.

Join with me to pray for a cure.

I have to say, I don’t think it was until I personally have been in this face to face, eye to eye place that I have truly understood the words of Proverbs 17:17. A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Thank you for being with me on the blog in such a tangible way through my “adversity”.

Love, Carol

Roller Coaster Week May 2 - 9

2009-05-10T19:21:00.002-04:00

Again, so sorry that you didn’t hear from me since my request that you pray for my Thursday chemo and pain block procedure….and thanks to Sally for giving you updates! (isn’t she the best? She keeps telling me she is reluctant to tell the story, but I so appreciate her giving you an update of how I am doing because I know your prayers and thoughts are with me every step of this journey) --- So bear with me for a moment or two and I’ll give you the stories of the last weekend …with the wonderful knowledge that this weekend I am doing great! I love my “off chemo” weeks.

As you recall, my chemo regime is “3 weeks on, one week off” and that the weekend after the 3rd week is when the “chemo fatique” really kicks in and I am just a noodle. Seriously, it is the weirdest thing. I cannot stand, sit, raise my arms…but then by the end of the weekend, as Susie says, I am returning from Noodleville. It’s the cumulative effect of the chemo apparently. It’s nice to then have Week 4 off.

Last week, Thursday, was Week 3 and I just couldn’t seem to get it together for chemo when I was up at Johns Hopkins. I had a rough start with the IV, then couldn’t seem to stop vomiting for them to get the chemo going. I tried the mind-over-matter (“I will not throw up”) technique and the mind was not winning! I told Sally it was because this was the first time she had not been with me at JH…she was having lunch with Michelle Obama and 1800 other close friends! A good reason to leave Frank and me on our own up at JH…but we failed her miserably! Although at the end of a long day, chemo was in, I got a couple bags of saline for hydration, and so we went back home to Georgetown to prepare to return the next day for the “Celiac Alcohol Nerve Block.”

Thanks so much for your encouragement in that decision. No one seemed to think I should not even consider it. ….and boy were you right! The funniest thing happened though, the JH Pain Clinic told us that we could come in to be “reviewed for consideration” for a pain block procedure. Then, if approved, I could be scheduled a few weeks out for the procedure. (ooooowwweeeee, was my response to the thought of the delay. Then I remembered, ooops, wrong response, and we remembered God saying “Cast ALL your Cares upon Me.” Psalm 22:55. So we did!

And so we all prayed that God would work this all out so that I could have an alternative to pain killers to take away the pain that was being caused by the lesions messing with all the nerves that are there in the back near all of my affected organs. (liver, gall bladder, pancreas, bile duct, etc) Well, surprise, surprise, surprise ~ we arrived at JH on Friday (Sally was there! ☺) and the wonderful team of Dr. Harrison the resident (Dr. McDreamy…believe me!) and his attending physician did the “analysis” then said, “let’s just go for it, as long as we are in here.” (at that point I was laying on my stomach on a table with a little quadrant that they had drawn on my lower back, a nicely anesthetized quadrant I might add, them putting needles of “the solution” into me while they looked at my back on a screen – xray-- I think it must have been an xray b/c they were wearing lead aprons) ---geez, as I write this I bet I am totally screwing this up, but I think that was what was going on…. And Dr. McDreamy, er, Harrison, would said, “do you feel that? Do you feel that? Do you feel that?) and I would say, “no, no, no.” …Oh, this was funny, at one point he said, “Did you have something surgically inserted?” and I am thinking “huh?” and then I remembered.. and I said into my pillow (on the tummy, remember) “oh, yes, I had a stent inserted in the bile duct to make room around a tumor blocking the duct from the liver.” He said, “Good!...mmm, you forgot to mention that.”

I don’t know how long it took. I was pretty wiped out when it was over, nausea kicked in again, but we were done and on our way to the shore. ---and it seemed to me, No Pain! Yay. (that’s when, shame on me, I should have written a nice blog post to you all. So sorry again.)

Saturday came with the expected Chemo Fatigue, the nausea etc, from the chemo, and oh, did I mention, the celiac block relaxes everything and so I was also experiencing the after effects of which they advised us. (read: big time diarrhea) But No Pain! They tell us that we won’t know for a couple weeks if the pain block worked, but so far…and it’s been a week, and it seems no pain, just a weird tingling across my lower back.

At this point, I became the author of my own nightmare. Like a big dumbhead I decided that if I didn’t have any pain, that I could just stop taking the morphine for the pain that was no more. So, more or less, I stopped – what a dope. Forget the details, but by Sunday I was dehydrated from the symptoms and a mess from withdrawal of the pain meds. Let me just say, I was just about doing an imitation of Michael Jackson’s break dancing routine. It was awful and frightening.

I remember telling David on the phone that at one point during the night I found myself thinking of a verse that I hadn’t thought of in a long time…The 23rd Psalm. You know how it says “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. HE makes me lie down in green pastures, HE leads me beside quiet waters, HE restores my soul. HE guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.” It was particularly meaningful when, as I was thinking of the verse, the way it says: Even though I walk through the valley of the SHADOW of death, I WILL NOT FEAR, because YOU are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me….” Well that was amazing as that verse came to me b/c I thought, that’s how this feels – this feels like a SHADOW. And I am not alone. I felt as though I was covered. Does that make any sense? I can’t explain it, but it was just so amazing that that was the verse that came to me. I will feeling like a needed a Rod and Staff to get through the scary parts.

By Monday evening we called JH and they asked us to go up to the ER b/c of the shortness of breath and other stuff going on. So we dashed (mmm, crawled) to the car and immediately headed up there. Christine had been at the shore that all weekend, but came from DC with Erik and met us there and stayed until I got settled in. Let me just say, an ER, in the middle of downtown Baltimore, offers a certain slice of life. There were some really wild characters in there. … definitely some others with “drug issues” but they were a lot more vocal that I was sitting in the oversized wheelchair they give you with my blankie, pillow, and bucket. I was amazed at how calm all the ER folks were with all the hollering that was going on. They took us in, (all wished me a Happy Birthday), immediately hooked up an IV for hydration and much to my initial distress, decided that the best thing to do was give me narcotics!! Long story, but basically the ER doctor said, “Our job is to stabilize patients. We operate or we treat. You we can treat. Then we can send you elsewhere to get you off the narcotics in the proper way.” It was a long way back. Frank sat by that gurney through the night through ups and downs, praying for me. Please remember him in your prayers. He has the tough job.

I can’t believe how naively ignorant I was of how powerful those awful drugs are. I know that they are miraculous for pain, but just seeing the power they have over the body is pretty overwhelming to me.

On Tuesday we went home, with an appointment to meet with the Pain Management Team on Friday. Last week was just a time for re-adjusting. It was wonderful that this was my week off of chemo. We spent the week in Georgetown. Friday I had the CT/PET scans in the morning (results next week) and we had a GREAT meeting with the Pain Management doc who gave us “the Plan” to wean me off the meds. I am now on Day One of the Plan (it will take 3 weeks!) and so far so good.

So again, I thank you for your continued prayers. Next week is chemo Week One and we’ll be back to JH on Thursday for chemo day. The fight continues, and the Lord again, as always, showed Himself faithful. “Because of the Lord’s great love we are NOT consumed, for His compassions NEVER fail. They are new Every Morning.” Lamentations 3:22-23

Prayer requests for this week:
Blessings for all the Moms!
For positive results from Friday’s PET Scan (more dim cells!) and the CT scan.
Chemo starts up again Thursday

Birthday Girl!!

2009-05-04T09:55:00.002-04:00

I am not a great one for remembering people's birthdays. But since Carol's birthdate is "code" for proving my relationship to her at Hopkins, I will never forget it!!!

So . . . on this date I just want Carol to know that we are all sending her oodles of love, prayers and wishes for a happy day today!! We love you girlfriend!!

And to the many, many friends of Carol's who have donated to the Johns Hopkins Pancreatic Cancer Research fund in honor of her birthday I want to say THANK YOU!!!

xoxo
SallyB

No Pain!

2009-05-01T21:50:00.001-04:00

Carol is resting comfortably . . . really comfortably . . . on the Eastern Shore tonight. This afternoon she had a procedure called a celiac plexus block - a deadening of the nerves in the area of her worst pain. As far as she can tell, it was a great success. She'll know for sure in two weeks when the local anesthesia has worn off and the true impact of the block will be realized. But, so far so good!! And if it truly works she will be able to give up the morphine and all its nasty side effects. What a blessing that would be!

Thanks to each and every one of you for your many, many prayers. Carol felt prayed for, loved and finally pain-free. Actually . . . she was so happy in the recovery room she was inviting the nurse to come to their house in Georgetown for drinks when she and her husband come to town next. AND she insisted that Frank write down their address and telephone number!!

Carol promised to write tomorrow. But for now, know that your prayers were heard!!
Sally

Call for Prayer!

2009-04-30T06:14:00.002-04:00

Good morning everyone! This is Sally writing with a brief update and specific prayer requests for Carol.
Carol's pain continues. And management with drugs has proven difficult and uncomfortable. So the wonderful doctors at Johns Hopkins have suggested a procedure called a celiac plexus nerve block to relieve much (if not all!) of Carol's pain and hopefully allow her to use less painkillers. The procedure will take place tomorrow (Friday) at 1:00pm. Please pray fervently that the block is successful and brings relief!
In the meantime, today brings a new round of chemo. Carol seems to be responding well to the new "cocktail" JH has devised at a slightly lower dose. Less fatigue and nausea! An answered prayer, for sure!!
More updates from Carol are coming. Just wanted to let you know what's happening. And ask you to keep Carol in your prayers these two important days!
Sally

Blog update – April 29

2009-04-24T14:09:00.002-04:00

Piling on of Good News; then life after that.

After the great news of Thursday of how the PET showed, compared to the baseline, that the cancer “hot spots” were Dimmer – which means the cells are not as active and possibly diminishing. (I hope I got that last part right), we continued celebrating along with all of you this miraculous news! Well, the next day, I received an email from Dr. Dan Laheru (as you will recall from the beginning of all this, we learned that every person who has cancer has an elevated blood marker, called CA 19) . Here is the email from Dr. Dan:

Hi Carol:
This tumor marker CA19-9 is down from 2755 to 2261. That's pretty good and goes along with the PET scan results. Have a good weekend Dan

So that was wonderful news that I should have posted right away…but unfortunately the weekend/week did turn out as I expected. The celebrating was short lived b/c after a really active workday on Friday of client meetings by phone; at about 4:30 pm I just hit the wall. I didn’t expect it at all b/c the week before, remember, was my full week “off chemo” and I was busy as bee, working, out in the garden, walking, etc and I was all ready to get back into chemo-fight-mode. Besides this was a big weekend ahead…☺

On Friday, friends of Christine came from all over the country for a Bachelorette Party at a West Virginia Winery Saturday afternoon, and dinner at her house Saturday evening. On Saturday morning all of the bridesmaids were coming to the house for a fitting and I had planned a little brunch with fruit and pastries and mimosas and lots of giggling. I was on low energy chemo mode (more than I expected) and thankfully Frank and my good friend Mary Anne (who came from California for the weekend with her daughter Brittany – a bridesmaid!) got everything looking beautiful and special for the bridesmaids! It was such fun. I sort of parked myself in a corner and enjoyed all the action. Erik’s mom, Ruthanne, was there too, along with my friends June and Patty, who were hosting a bridal shower for Christine and Erik the next day. Our only missing bridesmaid was Kelly, ☹ Erik’s darling sister who lives in Vermont. But his other sister Heather was there, so that was great to have almost full “Maginnis girl” participation in the fun. (Ruthanne took a photo in our Georgetown garden of the bridesmaids for Christine’s scrapbook, I’ll try to get it on the blog) By 11:00 the girls were off to gather the rest of the friends and head on the limo-bus to the Winery for their luncheon. I was off to bed.

Whew, I was surprised how wiped out I was….but I was committed to resting up for the bridal shower that June and Patty had so graciously planned. Sunday came and I felt worse…and (here’s where I started asking “why, why?”) on this day that was so “about Christine” I had some rough spots…like all the symptoms hitting me in the car on the way to the shower. Fortunately we were a block away from a friends house, Frank called on the cell phone, they had the front door open and I dashed in and scooted in to the bathroom. (tell me that someday we will laugh about this.) I settled down a bit there at Dick and Pam’s house, but was anxious to get on to the shower b/c I knew Christine would be worried. So, attempt #2 to get to the shower. Good timing, arrived and directly to the Ladies Rest Room.

THEN, miraculously, it was all over. 180 degrees. Zap! I had a wonderful feeling of energy “no symptoms” …I joined in to the photos, ate the delicious lunch, got hugs from all the beautiful girls that we have missed seeing from the days they all hung out at our house during Georgetown breaks!, sat right next to The Bride and enjoyed every bit of the fun. As the festivities waned, so did I. Time was up! I slept in the back seat on the way home and basically slept through that day and off and on the next few days which were about the worse I have had energy-wise. And I kept thinking---“what’s up with this?” Each chemo month is a “Cycle”, with week 4 always an off week—I am in Cycle 2, Week 1; I had a wonderful week off, felt like the ‘real me’ and so I expected C2,W1 to feel just like Cycle 1 Week 1. Wow, no way. It was as though everything was starting over. The pain meds were not coming close, the nausea was back in full force and the other abdominal battles between constipation (from the pain meds)/diarrhea (from the clinical drugs) going with a vengeance. I was having a tough time drinking (and keeping) the 90 oz of water they want in me everyday.

I meant to get a blog out there to ask all of you to pray for me, but I was just completely and totally wiped out. Crazy. I keep hearing that “chemo is cumulative” but I’m not sure exactly how that plays out. I have days were I am fully, 100 % on my A game; then for no apparent reason, no energy the next.

So….yesterday (Thursday/chemo day) at JH the team decided to do an overhaul on the meds – I forgot to mention that last week the JH team talked to us about cutting back the amount of chemo/FTS they are giving me. Apparently they start with the full mode and are then keep readjusting to the sweet spot by pulling back to the to a lesser level depending upon how the patient can tolerate it. I was pretty adamant of no! no! no! I can do it! I want the full deal. They agreed to give it another week. Well, I had that week.

They also said that in light of the extremely positive results from the PET scans, this “lessening” may be better in the long run, b/c if I kept up with the bad side effects, they would have had to give me a break anyway b/c I just wasn’t really functioning fully.

The other thing under consideration.. And I would REALLY appreciate your prayer on this… is the suggestion that instead of narcotics to control the pain, I consider having an “alcohol nerve block” that basically acts like a novocain to deaden the nerves. We have been praying about this and the advantage seems to be that we won’t be “chasing” the pain trying to get on top of it. (and not doing such a hot job of that) It would also do away with potential side effects that may be coming from the morphine: constipation and some fatigue. They go in with a little needle and shoot alcohol on the nerve endings. I am awake through the process – no general anesthetic, another good thing. They did point out though that one of three things could happen, 1. it works great, blocks all pain for up to 6 months, 2. it partially works and they just don’t get all the nerves so there is some pain from the ones that were missed 3. sometimes, depending upon the patient, the block just doesn’t work at all. Worse case, we’d be right back where we are now.

I am hoping to just have a clear peace about whether this is the right thing to do. For me, I am particularly motivated to get this morphine out of my body and just have the chemo/FTS (the clinical drug) in there storming away on the cancer cells.

So…again, if I can ask for your prayers . . .

But before you lay my list on God, please do praise with great thankfulness, along with us----

• His miraculous use of the chemo and clinical drugs to zap those cells,
• The giftedness that He has given to the AMAZING team at Johns Hopkins; each individual, those we see and the many we don’t who have been given great knowledge that I can’t even comprehend!
• The fact that doors just opened, opened, opened in getting me to JH in the first place and getting the LAST Spot on the clinical trial before it closed.
• And even praise for technology that allows me to feel so close to you and know you are praying for me….unceasingly! that is a thankfulness that I can’t even put into words…but God knows. So please Thank Him for that too!
• And thanks to God for Frank….you have no idea what a guy he is.

For me, please pray for:
• The decision on the nerve block
• Relief from the symptoms
• Less “sleepy time” – and being awake to vomit doesn’t count! ☺
• Practical help in just consuming all of the water that is required

Isn’t this a neat quote ~

Looking back may I be filled with gratitude.
Looking forward may I be filled with hope.
Looking upward may I be filled with strength.
Looking inward may I be filled with peace.

Love to you all,

Carol

Amazing news!

2009-04-17T14:59:00.004-04:00

Fantastic news!  We just talked to Dr. Laheru, the head doctor of the
pancreatic/clinical trial team. The team just finished looking at the
results from my PET scan yesterday. They had studied and re-studied the
results of yesterday's PET scan. The doctors expected "no change" from the
baseline PET scan that they did just 4 weeks ago. (This was basically just a
"pro-forma test they do after 3 chemo sessions. I will have them
periodically.) Well, instead of 'no change' they were very surprised to see
the cancer hot spots are "dimmer". They are shocked to see such results so
soon. It means the cancer cells are already less active and potentially
shrinking!! It is such wonderful news! Tears, big smiles, high fives and
hugs all around!

Couldn't wait to share the news!!!!!!  Wrote this during chemo yesterday at JH. 
TO GOD IS ALL THE GLORY!!

Keep praying, and praising and thanking!!!

"Blessed are the prayer warriors out there in cyberspace who have learned to acclaim YOU, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness." Psalms 89:15, 16 – with a little Carol-paraphrasing!

Love,

Carol

Photo session today!

2009-04-15T07:26:00.002-04:00

Well, we are getting ready to head back up to Johns Hopkins today for my first “follow up” PET scan and CT scan. They did the baseline scans about a month ago as you will recall. Dr Laheru said that they don’t expect to see anything significant this first month – it is generally the second month of chemo before they can really see anything. But let’s pray that God will surprise them with some nifty photos of my insides! The PET scan is a little creepy b/c that’s the one where they lock me in that lead-lined room, and the guy comes in all suited up and takes a tube from a lead canister, pours it into a “milkshake” and says, “Here. Drink this.” hee hee. Then he gets the heck outta there, locks the doors, turns down the lights and I sit in a recliner-like chair without moving. They repeat the process and after about 45 minutes of not moving they put me in a tube thingy and do the scan. Apparently the nuclear stuff goes to the cancer cells anywhere in my body and the cells glow like little fluorescent beacons. Please pray that the beacons are dimmer than last month…or even GONE!

(I think I got that whole PET scan description right….you may have had one and know way more than me!) I also have a CT scan today whey they inject fluid in my vein and take pictures as it flows through my body. That one is pretty cool. I feel like a human anatomy lesson because I can feel it moving through the veins.

I have learned some very, very interesting things about myself and about God on this journey so far. (Doesn’t that just sound so “poetic" to call this a “Journey”! :)) One thing that I have noticed is how when I read the Bible these days, or hear a pastor teaching, I keep finding myself thinking….”wow, God wrote that JUST for Me, where I am today! Have I never read that verse before?” For example, as I get ready for these tests today…check out this verse from the Hebrew Scriptures:

Jeremiah 32:27 Behold, I am the God of all flesh; is anything too hard for me?

The God of ALL FLESH, and all Cells, and all Organs, and ALL of Me – what comfort that is. HE is in charge. Boy, what a relief. I’m glad that I don’t have to be in charge of this one. It’s too big. And then for God to say “Is anything too hard for ME?” It’s very cool. As I read and read in the Old Testament (Hebrew Scriptures) over and over I learn more and more about WHO God is, His power, His glory, what He has done…and I am confident beyond anything that I know the answer to His rhetorical question of “Is anything too hard for Me?” My answer to God is: “NOPE! Let’s go…we’ve got to get in the car and head to Johns Hopkins today Lord. I’m sure glad You’ll be with us.”

I know that God will be with you today too on your Journey…pretty neat the way He does that isn’t it? ..omniscient and omnipresent…I guess that’s why He is God.

Thanks for your prayers for healing, the scans, (a little anxiety over the scans), and just to get rid of those pesky cancer cells! ..and most of all for patience as I wait upon God’s timing. Oh…and thankfulness that He shows Himself to me so graciously through you guys and especially through His Word…the Bible.

Love,

Carol

p.s. Scans today, back to chemo tomorrow. (but no blood draws, I don’t think. I’ll keep you posted. I’ll get the chemo schedule for tomorrow, today.)

Knowing What We Know

2009-04-08T21:31:00.004-04:00

I’m back!! Sally was right ~ the JH heads up for “extreme fatigue” was the understatement of last weekend. I had a really busy work day last Friday until mid-day, then just hit the wall like I never imagined. I, seriously, couldn’t even open my eyes or lift my hand! I would ooze out of bed, to the “facilities” then nap on the bathroom floor for a hour or so, then wobble back to the bed or the couch….all weekend. Plus “symptoms” thrown in, so it was another new experience. But that’s behind me now. Whew!

Tomorrow we head up to Johns Hopkins for a “long day” with Robert-the-phlebotomist. Tomorrow blood tests only, off and on, for 11 hours, then back again to JH for more tests Friday morning. But no chemo!! Now here’s something funny. Last weekend I was thinking, “Wow, I can see why they give you a break after 3 weeks of accumulation of the chemicals in your body. The old bod can’t take it.” – but now that my “Break Week” is here I am surprised that I find myself thinking – “No, no…they MUST give me the chemo. I don’t want to go a week without it. I have to keep fighting. What if the cells grow during the ‘off week’? etc etc.”

I know that is silly but I did find myself thinking that. I trust that the doctors know what is best – and as you know, I am not the first through this clinical trial, so the doctors really know the best way to give this treatment. I have confidence I am in good hands. I was reading this wonderful verse from the Psalms and found myself wondering (again) if the author, David, was experiencing the exact same thing that I am b/c once again David certainly hit the mark for my feelings in what he says in his writing --- Isn’t this a great verse from the Psalms?…"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety! Ps. 16:8-9”

It’s a lovely week to reflect on resting in Knowing what We Know.

Sleepy girl!

2009-04-06T10:24:00.003-04:00

Carol seems to be following the script . . . exactly as written by the wonderful people at Hopkins. They said the "fatigue factor" grows with each chemo treatment, and most patients really feel it after their third treatment. Chemo #3 was Thursday, and Carol was down for the count all weekend. Good thing this coming week is a week off!
So, all you prayer warriors, the prayer is for Carol is to build herself back up with lots of sleep and good nutrition, so as to be ready for the next treatment in a couple of weeks.
Check out Carol "lunching" with her CBS core group at Debbie Tovar's last Monday!
Sally

Oh yeah…Oh yeah … Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!

2009-04-02T21:06:00.006-04:00

Congrats prayer warriors!! You did it again! Chemo today was great. NO nausea! James 5:16 The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective

No blood draws today (but Robert came up to chemo anyway, just for a visit! With no needles!) Ella Mae said that they have been working on my concoction and “it came to her” to try an additional nausea drug that goes to receptors in a different part of the brain. Apparently there are various locations for receptors and the first two earlier drugs where working somewhat, but were not quite hitting that precise mark.--- notice PAST tense!

So today looked like this: Frank and I, and Sally, arrived JH at 8:30- straight up to chemo for some meetings and prep time (the pharmacy doesn’t mix the recipe until the patient arrives, too expensive to risk a no-show or a delay.) 10:30- IV installed in top of my wrist and the mix starts: first Zofran nausea meds by IV, then the chemo (35 mins); then the new nausea med by mouth (Emend – every day for 3 days); then they kept me around for a sack of water, just to get me fully hydrated incase the Emend didn’t work…and the theory that fluids are always good. (I need to be better about drinking more water.) 12:15- walked to the cafeteria, had lunch, and headed out. Sally back home, Frank and I to the Eastern Shore. No blood draw tomorrow. My veins are squealing with glee not that we don’t LUUUUVE Robert!

Although, one major draw back, I am sure they put some kind relaxer elixir in my mix b/c I was so sluggish that I slept all the way to the Eastern Shore and Frank did not get the benefit of my able assistance from the co-pilot seat!

Actually Ella Mae and Dr. Laheru both mentioned to us today that the chemo effects, particularly the “extreme fatigue” side effect is cumulative and many patients say that after the 3^rd session, they are really wiped out. I appear to me in line with that one…slept from JH to here (1.5 hr) wobbled to bed for 3 hours, am up for dinner and pain meds, and am already yearning for my pillow! I also committed not to leave you hanging this week, so I was MOTIVATED to get a big Thank You message out to you and then zonk out again.

Please join me in a special thanksgiving prayer for Sally who joyfully -and adamantly- refuses not to be there with us, is our faithful note- taker and question-asker of the medical staff, full time supporter and prayer partner. Please pray for God’s special blessing on Sally and her family. ~Pray too for Peggy Ann who is out of town but sends me daily emails harassing me about eating, hydrating, not working too much, etc!

You have again proven to be effective in prayer and encouraging in friendship.

Keep those prayers…God is indeed honoring them.

Thank you.

Love and Sweet Dreams, zzzzzzzz

Carol

Happy Birthday, Frank!!

2009-04-01T08:57:00.005-04:00

Ah ha! Wednesday again! How did I do that? I can’t believe it has been a week already since Chemo-Thursday. I have heard said that “the life of a cancer patient revolves around their chemo”..and I thought “That is pathetic.” Hee hee! Oh dear. Although I must say that it’s not that my life revolves around Thursday at Johns Hopkins…but it does become that “appointment” that nothing can interfere with, that gets me thinking about it on Wednesday as I go for my Pre-Chemo blood test here at our local hospital, then the post-chemo blood draw on Friday….so a 35 minute “chemo Thursday treatment” is suddenly a 3 day event! But does my “life revolve around chemo?” Nope! No way.

Here is the re-cap from last week. Wednesday, blood draw went fine, for some reason I called at 5:30, at the very end of the day, to confirm fax had been sent to JH, it hadn’t. But a nice lab attendant set it up, so they had my numbers when I arrived on Thursday. (significant b/c it allows them to make up the chemo first thing Thursday morning and saves about an hour or so of the long day of blood draws) Thursday, Sally and my Frank (Sally has a “Frank” too ) and I got there at 7:30. Met up with Robert for the first blood draw. (Our Phavorite Phlebotomist) --- although we need to get Frank to stop referring to him as the “Lobotomist”. He keeps saying…”Carol, I’ll meet you at Lobotomy.” THAT brings some startled looks on the elevator! By 9:30 I was cuddled into by little cubby by the window (tomorrow I’ll take a photo!) and the nurse had the anti-nausea medicine dripping away and then added the chemo. My friend Mary Anne arrived from California for a visit and so she, Sally and I chattered away though it all. Frank guarded the waiting room. We felt very safe.

Here is a HUGE answer to your prayers ~ you know the prayers that seem so specific; the prayers that show that we really do take God at His Word that He does care about the details of our lives, and that we should Cast Our Cares Upon Him ~…I was so happy to see the pharmacists from the JH Pain Management Team who came by while I was chemo-ing so that I could tell them how great the new pain management regimen is working! The week before they switched me from the short acting pain meds (every 3-4 hours as needed) to a Long Acting version that I now take every 12 hours. What a different not having to wait to “react” to the pain surges! I wasn’t sure that I wanted to make the change, but they were so right. With the long acting stuff, I sleep all night long with no pain AT ALL…I mean it…no pain! Thank you! thank you! thank you!..that is indeed an answer to your specific prayers on that. And I feel as though the good deep sleep is allowing the clinical drug (that I take at 9 am and 9 pm) to really go nuts all night long while my body rests. I have always had nice deep sleeps, so I was missing that! So now I take a Long Acting pain med at 7 am with breakfast, then generally need a “break through” short acting in between – about 5 pm, as needed to keep it all in check, probably b/c of moving around so much during the day…my theory)

After chemo and the meeting with the Pain Mgmt team, Frank, Mary Anne, Sally and I all went to lunch with Robert. Unfortunately my stomach again said, “nope!” to the lunch idea. ….gotta figure that one out. How about major prayers for “no nausea tomorrow” and we’ll let God take control of the mid-afternoon stomach gyrations?? (PLAN: You all pray, I’ll let you know how it goes, tomorrow night, a blog update, I promise. ) We stayed for the blood draws until they shut off all the lights at 8 pm in the chemo area on Thursday night, then Mary Anne and I spent the night at a swanky hotel in Baltimore where Christine had “Pricelined” a room for us for $99!! What fun. We ordered room service, and laid in bed and ate and talked and prayed. Ahhhhh, girlfriend time! Friday morning we took a cab to the hospital and Frank & Christine came later to meet us for the liver biopsy.

Friday morning, Robert-time. We had a little bit of drama though. After the blood draw, when Robert took my vitals, he asked “Do you feel alright?” Put his hand on my face. Apparently I had a bit of a fever with puts everyone in a tail spin b/c of the whole infection/immune system thing. It appeared that the Liver Biopsy might have to be re-scheduled. But – true to form – our remarkable Dr. Dan LaHeru, immediately made a space in his schedule, walked me across the hall to his exam area. As Mary Anne took notes, he declared me certainly fit to have the liver biopsy if I was up for it. All Systems Go…I was glad for that, for many reasons as you will read below. So off we went to the liver biopsy.

Now the fun shenanigans begin….Teamwork In Action. You see, Friday was Frank’s birthday and we had planned a surprise party for him out at the Eastern Shore for Friday night when we got home from JH! Christine did ALL the planning, invites, secret-keeping, etc. Everyone was to arrive at the house at 7 pm, which we thought was perfectly aligned with when our day would be over at Johns Hopkins. (so as you can see, the cancellation of the liver biopsy would have messed up the WHOLE schedule!!!) Christine was with us at JH, communicating with Erik constantly by text messages. Erik took the dogs to the Eastern Shore, made big salads, Susie & ML brought garlic bread, and Christine ordered yummy Italian dishes from our local fav spot. She also made, from scratch, the most a m a z i n g triple chocolate cake (see photo) So at the house, lots of decorating, cooking and fun going on as Steve & June arrived early to help out. Back at JH, the liver biopsy went off without a hitch. During recovery, even our nurse Carla got into the swing of things…Christine told her about the surprise and the minute-to-minute timing and we were about an hour AHEAD of schedule…so Nurse Carla comes in and says to Frank…”Mr. Marshall, mmm, in light of the internal bleeding that Mrs Marshall experienced in the past, we would like to keep her here for another hour, unless you insist that we release her????” Ha ha ha ha. It was priceless! You can imagine, poor Frank, fell right into it. Carla gave me a BIG WINK and off she went to deliver ice chips to some other patient. As you can see from the pix, the surprise party was pulled off! Our neighbors and friends were WONDERFUL to shower Frank with lots of attention and good wishes. Geez, the poor guy has not had an ounce of attention for over a month, it was much, much deserved.

We came back to Georgetown on Monday. My bookclub friend Nan brought us a gourmet dinner that evening, then on Tuesday I had Bible Study and our monthly fellowship luncheon afterwards with all the gals at Debbie’s apartment. It was a sweet, sweet time! So, as you can see: “My life does not revolve around chemo” God is not allowing that….but I am confident that the chemo is working hard while I am living life enjoying time with family, work colleagues, friends and my pals at Community Bible Study every Tuesday morning. Thanks for joining with me as I thank God for working out the pain meds, for the energy to do so many of the things that I love, and for wonderful resting up in between.

Ps. 17:6 - I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. By your mighty power you rescue those who seek refuge from their enemies. Guard me as you guard your own eyes. Hide me in the shadow of your wings.

All of the Above

2009-03-25T22:13:00.001-04:00

Yikes, has it been almost a week since I added to the blog. Shame on me. You must be so worried about me! I’ll try not to make this too long.

Well, lots going on – in a manner of speaking – since chemo last Thursday. We were back at Johns Hopkins on Friday for more blood work. I sure hope they are doing something useful with all this blood they are collecting! We went directly to the Eastern Shore from there. On Saturday we went to a yummy potluck with some neighbors on our wonderful Goose Neck Road. Our little Neck is about 2 miles long and about ½ mile wide with about 20 houses on both sides of the road that goes right down the middle of the neck. It’s a beautiful spot (and plenty of geese honking and squawking at various times of the year so the Neck is properly named!)

At Chemo on Thursday they told me some folks experience some side effects:

nausea, rash, constipation or otherwise J, certain foods taste metallic, chills and other flu-like symptoms, or none-or-the-above.

I was voting for the last one.

Unfortunately I have had All Of The Above! (I didn’t think that was an option, but I got the full experience, the E Ticket ride!) So this week as been a little up and down in the activity department with the need to say close to the “facilities” as they say. Each day had a bright times though, so that’s good. We are still working through finding the sweet spot on the pain meds. I’m looking forward to settling in. This was a bit of a tough week. If this is it, I’m not crazy about my “new normal.” (I think we are already at the point where you have to say, “but remember Carol, you told us to remind you that you WANTED to jump in and get going with this!”)

This morning, our long time carpenter Carlos, who is like a Brazilian son to us…we love Carlos and Vanesa!....sent me this verse. I was up early, not feeling so hot, and I really needed this one: ISAIAH 41:13 "FOR I, JEHOVAH YOUR GOD, AM GRASPING YOUR RIGHT HAND, THE ONE SAYING TO YOU 'DO NOT BE AFRAID. I MYSELF WILL HELP YOU.'"

Here is the best news…the JH “Pain Management Team” put me on a long acting pain med that is such a God send b/c it means that I take one at about 11 at night and I am sleeping like baby all the night through! How wonderful that is J They also gave me some anti-nausea medicine. So, although I feel like a bit of my own chemistry experiment! I’m confident that this is all a period of adjustment and soon it will be nicely balanced out. I’m looking forward to that. (It’s that Romans 12:12 “patience” thing again!! I am obviously still in process.) Frank has been an angel! The soft boiled eggs keep coming, and although I am happy to subsist on soft cooked eggs and cottage cheese, Frank is expanding his repertoire daily! We have also has some yummy dinners by friends and neighbors dropped off. So Frank is gaining weight and I am working hard not to lose any more weight so I don’t get in trouble with the doctors at Johns Hopkins!

Tomorrow we are back up to Johns Hopkins for chemo, blood draws beginning at 7:30am and into the evening again. Sally is going to meet us up there first thing in the morning. Friday will be blood draws again and One More Liver biopsy on Friday. Ugh. (Christine and Mary Anne will be there for Friday! Yay…)

Here’s what I was thinking about this morning…somedays I feel a bit overwhelmed and this song kept coming into my head:

Who am I that You are mindful of me
That You hear me when I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me ---- it's amazing

(Chorus)
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

God Almighty, Lord of Glory
You have called me friend….

I guess if I have a song on my mind, that’s a good one!!

Love you.

Carol

Day 1 CHEMO Reflections

2009-03-20T13:23:00.002-04:00

C arol
H aving
E xcellent
M iraculous
O verpowering cancer therapy!!

I love it! (Thanks Shirley!)

Well, let me tell you about yesterday/today. We arrived at JH bright an early for the first of many blood draws. Robert, my personal phlebotomist, was my shadow for the day. He put in a port at 8 am and then followed me here are there throughout the day popping up once an hour or so to take blood samples to see how the Chemo was metabolizing. The initial blood work is passed on to the pharmacy who makes the chemo. At 9:30 I went upstairs and settled into a little cubby spot – it was basically a window seat, looking out a nice big window with a cushion, a back rest pillow and a little TV if I wanted it. (I should have brought my camera! Next week.) At 9:45, Ella Mae, my chemo nurse, started the anti-nausea drug, then the chemo. 35 minutes and it was all over. It was a weirdest thing…it was a big nothing. I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t feel odd, tingling, burning, sick, nothing…as I said to Sally, this is a like a total non-event! Not that I was complaining! But I sure felt the answers to all of your prayers. Wow, you guys are amazing …. and effective!

I did have an unexpected CT scan at 11:00 to check to make sure I didn’t have a blockage in my intestine (I don’t) so I need to add Colace and Maalox to my diet. Frank bought me a yummy turkey/cheese wrap from the hospital café and at that point the not-unexpected nausea kicked in. I do remember saying “God, You there? This is yucky. I don’t want it to be like this….” I think He didn’t have turkey and cheese wrap on the menu for the day. But it started and it was over, just like that.

They gave me another anti-nausea drug that makes you very drowsy (ummmm, Carol totally fast asleep in the little cubby! Poor Sally, how boring for her.) Robert would come, take blood and I hardly realized he was there. The “Pain Management Team” came by, but I hardly remember them. They had lots of questions and advice. Thank goodness Sally was there like the traffic cop, with our special NoteBook that Peggy started, recording all the actions, inputs, meds, etc. (Frank was standing watch in the waiting room, doing food runs and pharmacy runs, reading all the literature and popping in an out with new food advice he was reading on the bulletin board…too many needles in that Chemo room for my hunny bun. He turns that alarming shade of gray when he sees a needle coming along! Hee hee.)

Blood draws lasted until 8 pm last night. We headed home – poor Frank was exhausted and had that 1 hour drive back to DC. I was snuggled in my blankie and slept the whole way! Christine and Erik were at home with a wonderful dinner and I just continued sleeping. Christine was hilarious. I have hazy recollection of her coming upstairs with a bowl of pasta and popping noodles in my sleepy mouth one at a time saying…”okay Mommy, open up our mouth….here comes another ziti…yummy, yummy.” Ha ha. I kept falling asleep from the meds. What a sight! But she was persistent, so I never had an empty stomach for the pain meds! Yay.

This morning we were up at the crack of dawn again to be back to JH for the 24 hour blood draw at 9 am. I had a little nausea again, so took another miracle pill and BOINK, nausea gone! It really is a bit miraculous the way that stuff works. From the stories that I had heard, they have come a long, long, long way in the chemo treatment. Oh! I just took the “4 pills” – the clinical drug— at noon. I take those, 4 each, twice a day. That’s my “booster” as I call it that takes the chemo right to the mother cell! GO GO GO!!

So, all that is just boring info, no real news, but I have received lots of “how’s it going? What’s happening now?” messages throughout the day yesterday that I wasn’t able (awake J) to answer, so forgive me if this is too much detail. After JH this morning we drove out to the Eastern Shore for the weekend. It is a beautiful sunny day. The daffodils are beginning to come up. Spring is here.

Please pray:

That the chemo is the right “recipe” and is effective in killing/stopping the cell growth and shrinking the tumors
That the FTS does for me what it has shown in all the other clinical trial participants
That some brilliant scientist will find a cure for pancreatic cancer soon and I will be able to go from having a “chronic illness” to cured!

I am (again) wrapped in my blankie with my laptop, enjoying this beautiful day, resting in knowing I am the daughter of the King…and that THIS restful peace that I am feeling is not from medication…it is from knowing without a doubt that I am loved beyond measure, and have a God who knows me personally, loves me for who I am, made me just the way He intended, and He has every day planned for me. That’s peace.

xoxo

Carol

Chemo Day 1

2009-03-19T06:46:00.000-04:00

Off to Johns Hopkins with Frank. Sally is meeting us there! (yawn!) thanks for your prayers for no apprehension of this unknown! Smooth sailing and all those other Irish Blessings of having the wind at you back and all that! I have strapped on the Full Armor of God (Ephesians 6) and am ready to go!! He is my shield…I am under the shelter of His mighty arms. And the chemo warriors are going to zap those cells!

Thanks for your prayers throughout the day. It’s so great knowing you are out there!

Psalm 56:3.

More laterr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carol

Carol and CBS

2009-03-18T09:09:00.007-04:00

Ready for business at CBS early yesterday morning!
This one was taken at Christmas with Carol's mom Ruth at the luncheon! She's the cute one in the front row in the green sweater.
Carol with her co-leader and good buddy, Denise.

Since CBS is such a big part of Carol's life, I thought you might want to see her in action! Yesterday Carol led our core group in a wonderful lesson and discussion . . . along with some powerful prayer! Here she is with her "standing room only" crowd. Click on any one of these photos and they will enlarge!

Sent by Sally

Enzymes Are Down! All Systems ‘GO’….

2009-03-17T21:14:00.001-04:00

Yo Prayer Team, Victory!! You did it again! As my friend Jane says, “Prayed those enzyme numbers right down into the basement!” We got the word today on the blood tests that the enzymes are down and so the door is wide open to begin chemo treatments whenever all details/schedules/clinical paperwork is in place at Johns Hopkins.

And chemo it is, because we also got the report that the liver biopsy showed that the cells are indeed cancer. The fancy name is “adenocarcinoma.”

Johns Hopkins has continued being amazingly action-oriented all day today working, working, working now that the diagnosis has been confirmed. It appears 95% sure that I will get up to Baltimore for my first Chemo Treatment right away this Thursday…day after tomorrow! And I WILL be in the clinical trial. Yay!!

But boy oh boy you can pray for Frank on Thursday…it is going to be a looooooong day. Apparently after the chemo (which takes only 35 minutes by IV), then we stay around for 11 hours (yikes!) so that they can do periodic blood draws to see how the chemo is metabolizing. (btw, they put in a port so that they just go into that same port for the blood draws throughout the day and into the evening. Then we go home that night and come back again on Friday for round 2 on the blood draws, but only for two hours. Then it’s WeekEnd! Wahoo! (Actually I am happy to be parked at Johns Hopkins after my first few chemo treatments…if I have questions, or some weird reaction, I would rather be close to Johns Hopkins rather than an hour away in Georgetown or 2 hours away on the Eastern Shore.)

As I understand it at this point, chemo will be once a week. -- I believe every Thursday; I’ll keep you posted on that. And the Thursday/Friday blood draws are only for the first month, I think. After that, we will settle into a schedule where we just go up there once a week for the chemo, then come home, return the next week, etc. So with the drive, I figure about ½ day, once a week – that’s not bad. Not much word on the side affects of the chemo and the clinical drug--everyone is different. I’m counting on Friday night dancing! …”what?” you say? “You never went dancing on Friday nights before!” Oh well….this is the new me!

So, the journey continues and, wow, I am glad that you are walking with me on this. I feel your arms linked in mine and cannot, as much as I try over and over, articulate how very much I appreciate your kind words, encouragement, and most of all your Prayers. Mark Vanderput prayed this verse on Sunday before they left…every single line is a promise.

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

And again, my wonderful friends…you must believe me…I am not sad, upset, worried, stressed, anxious, (fill in the word), …I continue to have great, great Peace, am resting in God’s promises, and continually uplifted by YOU. Thank you.

Love and BIG hugs!!

Carol

My Husband The Master Chef!!

2009-03-15T11:39:00.001-04:00

For TWO days in a row, my husband (the non-cook) has catered to my latest whim and has presented the most DELCIOUS, perfectly prepared, soft boiled eggs! (I have not eaten soft boiled eggs in years…what’s with this new craving…but as Frank says, “Better than a craving for pickles and ice cream!” Hee hee! – Good grief can you imagine?!?)

Many of you have sent emails to ask the latest reports, and so here’s the No-News update: nope, no results back on the liver biopsies yet. Dr. Giday also did a little snip of the tumor in the bile duct when he inserted the stent on Monday, but no results on that one either.

Tomorrow I go back in to our local Sibley Hospital for another blood test to check if the liver -enzymes have come down enough for JH standards. Hopefully enzymes are down and then we’ll be on to Next Steps. I will keep you posted. Maybe chemo will start this week! Johns Hopkins said that some patients experience shrinking of the tumors after just a couple months of chemo – I would welcome that. I am told that the pain is from the tumors pressing on the nerves.

We have had a wonderful relaxing weekend out on the Eastern Shore (eating poached eggs)! Thanks for your little notes on the blog! It’s nice to know you are out there! It has been so fun to get those electronic hugs!

Love,

Carol

Clear Cut Assignments

2009-03-13T19:17:00.002-04:00

I received a card this week that had this Bible Verse on it: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12) I love it when we have a Bible verse where God tells us Just What To Do. ….it was perfectly suited for me because I am so task oriented. On that score, I just want to say…you are doing a GREAT job on the third assignment, thanks for your faithfulness! Each day I see how God is answering prayers…I am feeling pretty good for all of us on the first assignment of being joyful in HOPE…but that PATIENCE one….that is tough! I think I can sum up me as: “Joyfully, hopefully, prayerfully…. impatient!”

After all the drama of this week with the bile duct stent and pneumonia vaccination on Monday, the overnight in the hospital, then the liver biopsy on Tuesday afternoon, it was GREAT to be back home again Tuesday night! Today I went for a blood test to see if my liver was happy with the new stent to clear a passage in the bile duct and if the enzyme levels are down enough to begin chemo treatments. Well, the good news is that the numbers are down significantly so the stent is working! Yay!! But unfortunately, numbers are not down low enough so the chemo has to be postponed again.

So, here’s the prayer…God, please have Carol’s enzyme levels come down so that the JH team can move ahead with the treatment. (And anything else you might like to add related to world hunger, peace among the nations and the economic stimulus package – and complete healing!)

I mean let’s just say here and now…that WONDERFUL liver biopsy that my personal photographer Christine captured on her i-phone was a huge answer to your prayers. Not a HINT of a complication or internal bleeding! I was a little bummed today to learn that I “flunked” the enzyme test and Christine sent me this Psalm 1:24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD. --- and that’s ALL of us…thanks for your prayers for me—so get back at it…faithful in prayer! Be Strong! Take heart! …enzymes!

Frank and I are out at the Eastern Shore this weekend and Dr. Laheru told me that my job is to rest, eat, and lower my enzymes. I am taking all my assignments very, very seriously!

Love,

Carol

2009-03-11T19:07:00.003-04:00

Christine Blogs . . .

2009-03-10T16:52:00.006-04:00

Christine here . . . . making my first contribution to the blog. My mom had her liver biopsy today and I got to stay in the room and watch the entire thing!! It was very cool. This biopsy was an ultra sound biopsy as opposed to the first biopsy (that came back inconclusive) that was a CT biopsy…this was much more accurate. I watched on the screen as the needle went in, followed a path mapped out by the ultra sound tech that went right to the lesion, took a sample, and came back out. We (the doctors and I) watched the whole thing real time, as it happened – so cool. I brought my camera phone in and took pictures before the procedure. No internal bleeding this time, phew. There were about ten people in the room during the procedure – nurse, two doctors, ultra sound tech, and some pathologists. Right after they took the cells they passed them over to the pathologists to look at to make sure we got a good sample and it’s not inconclusive again. The big answer to prayer was that there was no internal bleeding this time. Pop and Andrew held down the fort in the hospital room (far from the needles).

We had a GREAT team performing the biopsy – I took down their names so we can request them when we have to do this again next week (the clinical trial is going to require one more biopsy next week).

Oh, and Chemo won’t begin until they have “proof” – so probably not until next week.

Hospital Happenings

2009-03-10T08:11:00.003-04:00

Thought you all would enjoy these bits from Carol's early morning email to me from Hopkins!

Had a little excitement here last night, apparently my neighbor here on the 3rd
floor got his (sealed) window open and was wandering around on the 2nd floor
roof top outside my window. I was groggy and didn't see anything but I could
hear them getting him back inside. Then someone came in and checked the seal on
my (and I assume all other) windows! It caused quite a flurry and a stir. People
running all over the hallways saying "there's a patient on the roof!" "What?" 
"shit! Shit! How did this happen!". And one guy kept saying "I thought he was in
the bathroom. I thought he was in the bathroom.'  I asked my nurse later and she
said "yeah, I was in another room and caught a glimpse of him stumbling on
the gravelled flat roof top. All I can say is I'm glad he wasn't MY patient!" I
imagine there will be lots of paperwork to follow THAT little episode!

Even so, I had a very,very good night last night.  No pain, meds worked well every
4 hours. Slept so well. Actually just woke up for a little "walk" across the
room and am going back to sleep b/c I can. :). It's 6:30 am.


PS: I forgot to share a funny with you! As I think you all know, my organs are
all flipped inside of me. Whatever you have on the right, in me is on the left
(not common, but not unheard of Dr Christopher told me at Sibley.) So I said to
Dr Giday before the stent insertion yesterday "did you notice that I am
flipped?" He said "yeah, that's crazy, when I have my scope in you I feel like I
am driving in the UK!" Ha ha. I thought that was such a funny thing to say!

Have a good one today. Watch for God! :)

No Longer Yellow

2009-03-09T21:04:00.000-04:00

Another day at Hopkins. Had a stent implanted to open up the bile duct and within hours my rosy complexion was back! Spending the night in the hospital. Liver biopsy tomorrow, then home. PET scan confirmed need for chemo, so starting Wednesday bright and early . . . for treatment and participation in Dr. Dan's clinical trial.

Change in the Schedule for Monday

2009-03-09T06:16:00.000-04:00

Wow! Thank you! Prayer answered -- Dr Giday called tonight. He squeezed me in
the schedule and is putting in stent at 10:45 tomorrow morning before the liver
biopsy! So please pray all goes well with inserting the stent. (And that the
biopsy is CLEAR! :). )

Love,
Me

They Call Me Mellow Yellow

2009-03-08T14:12:00.000-04:00

Okay…I am just being lazy…this is an email that Frank wrote, but it says it all, so here’s the update:

Every week seems to bring something more, but this upcoming week appears to be the start of Carol's chemo process. On Monday she is back up to Johns Hopkins for “chemo class’ which we will all attend with her, then she is off to have a liver biopsy which will provide the pathology on the type of cancer she has (we still pray that the biopsy will show benign lesions), and depending on Dr. Giday’s schedule, have a stent placed in her bile duct. The blood work she had last Friday showed “elevated enzyme levels” and they were surprised that Carol didn’t look yellow. (She doesn’t yet.) Apparently her severe abdominal pain is being caused by a blockage of the bile duct and a stent will at least allow the bile to be discharged. So tomorrow is a big day. If all the tests show cancer, then she will start chemo and the clinical trial Weds/Thurs or Thurs/Fri. –Frank

(Carol here….) BUT…all that is contingent on the PET scan and the liver biopsy…so, keep praying for no cancer! If there is not cancer, I think the plan will be to have chemo to shrink the tumors then surgery to remove the mass in the pancreas/bile duct area sometime in the future (best solution, and we all jump for joy and thankfulness!). If it is indeed cancer, then chemo for an undetermined amount of time + the clinical trial and we keep praying for healing! (THEN we jump for joy and thankfulness…just a little later than we hoped.)

Big week ahead. Monday: biopsy, stent, chemo class; Wednesday: chemo begins, blood tests periodically for the rest of the day to see how it’s going (long day at JH); Thursday: more chemo-follow-up tests at JH. I found this in the Psalms and I like it!: Psalm:.16:8-9 I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety. (pretty cool, eh? I love these verses that I am finding!)

A friend sent this to me:

I am the place where God shines through.

Therefore He and I are one, not two.

He wants me where and as I am.

I need not fret or will or plan.

For if I'm calm, relaxed and free,

He'll work His plan divine through me.

Correction Message from Frank

2009-03-05T16:12:00.000-05:00

PET scan is Friday (tomorrow) and liver biopsy Monday. Start the prayer machine for best from liver biopsy: benign tumors; next best nonpancreatic cancer and no other cancer anywhere else. Thanks, Frank

PET Scan & Liver Biopsy Scheduled at Hopkins

2009-03-05T09:34:00.000-05:00

As my grandpa used to say, “Here we go, off to the races!” The moment we have all been praying for (REMIND me of that! )
Monday morning – PET scan; Tuesday morning-Liver Biopsy. The PET scan should show what’s going on with the pancreas and the liver biopsy will produce some nice tissue for JH to analyze. My prayer is that it will all be benign, but let’s see what God has in store for us in this big adventure. That’s for coming along with me and supporting me with all your prayers. I am overwhelmed with cards, good wishes, encouraging words, and knowing how many of you guys are thinking of me and praying for me. I feel like Moses when he held up his arms while the battle against Amalek was ongoing. Whenever his arms would get weary, his friends Aaron and Hur would come alongside and hold them up for him Exodus 17:7…I know that I will need lots of “holding up” by friends in the days, months?, years!, to come…so THANKS good friends and mighty prayer warriors!!! Love, love, love xoxo Carol (p.s. Amalek was defeated! )

Insurance Approval Comes Thru for Clinical Trial!!!

2009-03-04T09:48:00.000-05:00

Proving yet again that God is bigger than any mountain…even the lofty peak of the Insurance Company! We just got the news. The approval is official. So now I am “on ready alert” to be at Johns Hopkins whenever they receive the official paperwork and can schedule me. I will keep you posted. Thanks for your prayers. Wow…God IS in the details, isn’t He? And now Chip can head back to San Diego today knowing that we are moving forward…hmmmm, maybe it was all for the best ~ snow storm cancelled the flight but yet insurance worked out before he had to head back. No Worries --- Peace is a good thing! Just like Moses said to Aaron:
The Lord Bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
The Lord turn His Face toward you and Give You PEACE. Numbers 6:24-27

I feel blessed…..and peaceful!

Love,

Carol

The Big Snow

2009-03-03T05:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I am convinced that it will take Divine Intervention to clear up the insurance snaggle! They say “We haven’t denied coverage. We haven’t been asked.” I have a feeling this problem is larger than me. This is making the cures for cancer, world hunger, the economy, and the Middle East strife look like a piece of cake!

Here is a bit of sunshine from the Good Lord… as many friends said, perhaps it was all in God’s Plan for us not to travel north to Baltimore in the snow…so THAT’S why the Biopsy and PET Scan were cancelled over the weekend. AND the best part is, that as a result of the impending blizzard, Chip’s flight was cancelled! Yay! It was the funniest thing…we had all gone to our favorite Irish Pub for lunch after church (see photo) and then Frank took Chip to Dulles to catch his flight back to San Diego. It was the funniest thing…the ground was bone dry, not a flake in sight yet, but HEY! Who cares…our boy is back! Oh, and here is an added blessing – he got on a flight for Wednesday and no “change fee”!

Oh and uh hummm, right on point: Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. I’m not so hot at “being still”..but this morning instead of a liver biopsy we had a sunny morning in the snow. Let’s see if Sally can put the pictures on the blog! (thanks Sally!)

Love, Carol

Sunday Afternoon Prayer Request

2009-03-01T16:42:00.000-05:00

Okay prayer warriors, get out the knee pads! – We got the disappointing news from Johns Hopkins that even though we have terrific insurance coverage, the Blue Cross paperwork is lagging and despite many calls and contacts from JH, the Blue Cross approval never came in. So, they had to cancel tomorrow’s Liver Biopsy and the PET Scan for Tuesday. (and chemo class!) We are so disappointed… we are so anxious (as is the team at JH) to get a firm diagnosis and get started with The Plan! We were again amazed at the dedication of the team at Johns Hopkins when we got an email and phone call from them over the weekend learning that THEY (including Dr. LaHeru) are on the phones and working this in the background. I again am reassured at how fortunate I am to be in their care.

But here is a picture for you…amidst all the fretting, Christine said, “We need to pray about this.” … I was sitting on the little sofa, Christine was next to me, Frank stood beside holding my hand, Chip was behind me with his hands on both my shoulders and Andrew just plunked his whole hand on the top of my head and we prayed. Please join with us in asking God to remove this first bottleneck. (and to give me patience!) and for healing and peace and to be in all the details. Love, Carol

Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Food Blog???

2009-03-01T11:04:00.001-05:00

Saturday:

No Carol-health news, but we sure are having a blast having Andrew home from Maine, Chip home from San Diego and Christine+Erik here all the time! Friday night was such fun, we had a “wine selection” for the wedding! Our friends Jerry and Patty came from North Carolina with a selection of “candidates” for the wedding. Steve and June came over, we were all here, Erik made a PHENOMENAL dinner of herb-crusted lamb chops, fingerlings and roasted broccoli (hey, forget cancer…let’s make this a FOOD BLOG!) with Erik as our chef, that would be do-able ~ although I think his Latin students would feel very cheated!! June and Patty baked an amazing cake for dessert. We had such fun! (and the wedding wines were selected as a result of the blind tasting…complete with forms to fill out and record the tastings!) It was a wonderful, happy evening of family and friendship! No wine for me, so I was the official photographer. Here are some pix!

Carol Writes of the Desert and Mountains

2009-02-27T10:54:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up and opened my Bible to Isaiah and did something I generally don’t do… I just flipped to a random verse and thought..hmmm, I wonder what God has for me today? And look where my Bible opened to:

Isaiah 40:

1 Comfort, comfort my people says your God…

3 a voice of one calling: “in the desert prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God.

4 Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; The rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain.

5 and the GLORY of the Lord WILL BE REVEALED, and all mankind together will see it.

So, there you have it…EVERY valley shall be raised up..EVERY mountain made low, rough ground will be level and rugged places plain. What a promise!! And I pray that God’s glory will INDEED be revealed in this journey through the desert. In December when I was flying over Iraq and Afghanistan and I looked out the window, I thought…wow, I thought the “desert” was just sandy flat, flat, flat…but then I saw the rugged mountains of Afghanistan and the valley. Funny how God can even use those visual pictures in our memories to give us a clearer and clearer picture of His message to us.

Wait! I took a picture out the window of the airplane….THESE are my valleys that will be raised up and the mountains that will be made low. Yep, yep I see some mountains ahead…but boy oh boy we have a great God who is going to guide me through! Yay!

Anyway, just thought I’d share what God showed me today…random, eh?

Thursday Afternoon Message from Carol

2009-02-26T14:39:00.000-05:00

Yes, yes, you are all correct TODAY was supposed to the second Liver Biopsy, but like a big dork I took an Advil (note: blood thinner) --- so because of my last biopsy that landed me with those nice nurses in ICU -- the Liver Biopsy has been rescheduled to Monday up at Johns Hopkins along with “chemo class”! So Monday is a big day. Tuesday, back up to Johns Hopkins for a PET Scan. Lots of tests, but I know that they are really helping to zero in on where the battle will be!

Many of you have asked what you can do to help out…and as I told a friend this morning, the best, best, best gift you can give to me is for me to hear that you are praying for me….and you know, I KNOW without a doubt that God hears those prayers. He told me that -- well, it’s in the Bible, so I guess he told a lot of people that! J Not to get too weird, but you know, I never feel alone. God is being amazingly gracious to me (why am I surprised…I am not surprised actually, but very thankful!) I have never had such a time in my life before, but I can’t tell you that on a spiritual level I have not had One Moment of “Why me?” or “Where are you God?” He has been so, so visible. What a gift! (and just shows He does INDEED know every wimp-girl hair on my head and knows I need those visible glimpses of His hand every day!) My new favorite scripture for today from the Hebrew Scriptures: Psalm 139:1-18 New American Standard Bible. Google it! Thanks again for our continued prayers and for visiting my B L O G! hee, hee, I love saying that!

Wednesday Night Message from Carol

2009-02-25T18:55:00.000-05:00

So many folks have mentioned they were thinking of us during the endoscope yesterday, so I figured I would give another update. The endoscope seemed to go well, it seemed me….. I do know that the procedure was supposed to be about 20 minutes and Dr. Giday stayed in there for an hour with his little camera looking around and snipping this and that. So, now we just wait for the results.

Next up is another Liver Biopsy on Monday, along with “chemo class” and a few other human pin-cushion tests. (I am trying not to let it go to my head, but whenever I roll up my sleeves, the phlebotomist invariably declares, “Wow, you have GREAT VEINS!” I think I was built to be a drug addict…just missed my calling and am devoted to Business Ethics instead.) Tuesday I have a PET scan. So back up to Johns Hopkins…those folks are terrific. Over and over we are so impressed and appreciative of their knowledge, compassion, and devotion to healing.

I did receive a note from my good pal Dick Bednar after hearing the word on the endoscope who said, “Carol, must have been tough on you not being able to talk for a whole hour!” But I assured him that I saved up All My Words while Dr. Giday was busy doing his thing and I just jabbered all the way home in the car! Thanks for thinking of me. xoxo Carol

How It All Began

2009-02-25T18:42:00.000-05:00

Carol wants me to start with a "background" blog. Most of the following was composed by Carol in hospital waiting rooms and corridors. And I must tell you . . . she is the first person I have seen actually conduct business from the ICU!! I had to chuckle when I heard her say to someone on the phone, "Well, I'm not actually in my office right now . . . ." That's our Carol!

So, here's the history:

Background: Been having some abdominal pain and back aches. Figured that I need to do some stomach exercises for my back, too much time on airplanes, so that’s the back pain! ☺ Went to see our internists for my stomach pain. He set up an upper GI, did that, they said I had “acid reflux”. But the problem is, that after that, the abdominal pain didn’t go away and the back pain was getting worse. So on Feb 15th or so I set up my own appt with a gastroenterologist that I had seen last year for the same stomach problems that mysteriously went away last March.

Dr. Christopher (the gastroenterologist) did an office exam, listened to my symptoms and announced “You do not have acid reflux” --- Then set me up for an x-ray.

Monday, February 16th Dr Christopher I had have a sonogram/CT scan.

Tuesday, February 17th. Morning. Here’s my email to Christine & Frank:
Hi there. I just got a call from Dr. Christopher’s office. He wants to see me at 12:30 today in his office. Yay. Hopefully he as some idea what’s going on from all the tests and the sonogram/CT scan yesterday. Last night at about 3:30 I had one of my worst bouts. Oooooo, it hurt! So, let’s see……I am still thinking kidney stones. It would be an easy fix. That might explain the back pain; but last night it was as though I had a 5,000 pound soccer ball being pressed into my abdomen. Then by 6:30 it was the usual pain in the back that I have been having all along with no abdominal pain, just soreness..so Jake said “let’s just go for a big walk and get your mind off it.” I agreed so off we went. I am not going to CBS today. Just taking it easy until Dr Christopher rendez-vous at 12:30. I’ll keep you posted on what he says!
Xoxo

Tuesday afternoon, February 17th:
Meet with Dr. Christopher at his office where he told me that the x-rays and CT scan show a “large mass on my pancreas and lesions on the liver.” He then sent me immediately to Sibley Hospital for blood tests. Those tests showed elevated CA-19. (I have later learned that lots of folks who don’t have cancer have elevated CA-19, but everyone who has cancer has an elevated CA-19.)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 – liver biopsy at Sibley Hospital 7:30 am)

Thursday, February 19, 2009 – An email to a bunch of my Bible Study friends.
Hi there! I have tried to include many of you prayer warriors who I know will pass the word on to our other friends. I am hoping for an ARMY of prayer!!

After the tests on Monday, they found the mass on my pancreas and spots on the liver on Tuesday, they got me right in for a liver biopsy Thursday. Had the liver biopsy yesterday at Sibley Hospital, procedure went well, but ended up with some drama (internal bleeding) that landed me in ICU overnight. So I am here in ICU now. Hope to go home soon as the Doctor releases me in a few minutes. Frank is here with me.

The wonderful news is that our good friend Dr Kris Monroe (who is a researcher at the Norris Cancer Research center at USC) jumped right on this and found that "all signs for pancreas care point to a Dr Laheru (la-hay-roo) at Johns Hopkins." We called JH and they said that he could see me on March 27th! ☹ That was pretty distressing. But then Dr. Christopher called and got me a referral and amazing!! ☺ they will see me tomorrow at Johns Hopkins!! (They have an entire BUILDING dedicated just to the pancreas, imagine….)

Sally Brown was here for the biopsy at 6:30 yesterday morning(along with Frank) and Frank, Sally and Peggy Ann Fechnay stayed late into the night. Sally is taking care of setting up all the appointments at Johns Hopkins and all the doctor interfaces. Peggy Ann is with me and taking care of all sorts of stuff. Ah, girlfriends! What a God send. Frank and I are really relying on them and on you for your prayers!

The Doctors here at Sibley Hospital say that Dr. Laheru is the guru to go to. As Dr. Christopher said, “he is the Tip of the Spear” – Peggy Ann googled him and he has authored so many articles, and articles written about him.

I am getting pretty worn out so asked Sally to be my point of contact for 'Carol updates' if you don't mind. I will cc her on this note and she'll keep you posted. Watch for updates from them.

I love your notes and most importantly covet your prayers. God is in control of this whole rigamarole and I sure am glad He is! Please pray that the mass and lesions are benign. And for a miraculous healing! :). In the meantime I have lots of meds to keep the pain down until they get my "plan" in place at JH.

Things are moving fast but I wouldn't want it any other way! Thanks again. Please pray, it would be your very best for me!!

Love,
Carol

Friday, February 20, 2009 (Johns Hopkins today!) Here is the email that Sally send out to our friends.
UPDATE #2
Dear members of the Carol Marshall Fan Club,

Just want to let you know that we had a very productive day at Johns Hopkins. Carol met her doctor . . . and loves him! And her new best friend is EllaMae, the chemo nurse. The warm, talented group at Hopkins took Carol in as one of their own today and we all feel that she is in the best place possible for treatment.

Here's the scoop. Tests to date are still somewhat inconclusive. Hopkins needs a few more tests to make a final diagnosis. A multi-dimensional CT scan was done this afternoon and a liver biopsy should happen on Monday. When results of the biopsy become available next Thursday a decision will be made about treatment.

In the meantime, the doctors are thinking that Carol might be perfect for a clinical trial they are running right now . . . with one slot left! It's been running for 2 years with great success.
So . . . it looks like Carol is heading in the direction of chemotherapy, to start week after next. The doctors have told her that she won't lose her hair, won't be nauseated and can continue with her schedule . . . as long as she scales it back somewhat! Expect to see her at bible study and buzzing around as she always does. Hope and prayers are the drugs of choice right now. So please supply lots and many!!
I will be in touch. God bless you all for the love and prayers you are sending Carol's way.
Sally

Saturday, February 21, 2009 UPDATE #3
Hello all. Here is a note from Carol:

The doctors at JH were amazing!! It's a whole Pancreas Department!! Where some hospitals see 10 a year, they have 300 active cases ongoing!

And did you hear the details of God's amazing gift?? There was ONE Spot left in a clinical trial that is closing in 2 weeks and I got it!

I have (another) liver biopsy next week -- I figure they can just keep biopsying the lesions and basically remove them one biopsy at a time!! :) Then they wait a few days for the pathology report. The following week I hope to start chemo and have the supporting role The Big Battle! (Lead Role goes to the Guy who made me in the first place! -- I do thank you for all your prayers. They are being answered one by one!)

Oh, and another little tidbit, although I may have "flu-like symptoms" from the weekly chemo, I won't lose my hair! :) it's all about the hair with us gals you know! Over and over I am struck by a) how little I have known about cancer treatment and b) what I did know was so out of date or erroneous- brilliant scientists (like Kris) and doctor like Dr Laheru's team have come so far. (Did you know there are over 40 kinds of cancer possible in the pancreas alone?)

I am in awe of these dedicated professionals and in our AWEsome God at the helm.

Love,
Carol

February 22, 2009 Here is an email from Kris (my friend at Norris Cancer Research Center at USC. She has been a God-send…funny but we haven’t had any “quantity time” with Kris and Dave for 7 years…and then the week after the “acid reflux” diagnosis when I was still having pain, she was here in DC for meetings at NIH and she and her husband Dave (a longtime pal of Frank, they were Boy Scout leaders together, our sons are good pals, soccer coaches together, etc) came and spent a weekend with us. Coincidence????? One week later, I get the word from Dr Christopher. I called Kris. She was involved from the beginning as you can see. And this is an email that she sent in response to all of our questions about the chemo, the clinical trials, etc.
Hi Ladies,
Sally has it correct. The clinical trial for which you are being considered is only for patients with a certain cancer profile. If you are a candidate for surgery then you wouldn't meet the requirements of this particular trial. By law (medical ethics), you have to be treated with the best possible treatment for you. In fact, as Barb pointed out to me last night, all oncology clinical trials have to be the add-on drug type. They have to give you the standard treatment that is KNOWN to be the BEST at this current date. Now, 6 months to a year from now, perhaps researchers will discover a new best treatment. That treatment will be approved by the FDA in time and all patients will get the benefit of that treatment. But, in the meantime, scientists at major research institutions continue to investigate new drugs to be given concomitantly with the "standard".

So, they need to determine from your liver biopsy whether you qualify for this particular trial. Depending on what they determine, that will guide your course of treatment. We won't know treatment, definitively, until the results of the biopsy are known.

This particular trial is a dose-finding study for the additional drug FTS. Before they begin, they first need to determine baseline for many biomarkers in your blood and test/evaluate clotting properties of your blood.

On day 1 of the trial, when you go in for chemotherapy, they will first test the dosage of gemcitabine. After they give you your first dose of gemcitabine (standard treatment drug), they will evaluate the pharmacokinetic (study of the relationship between amount of dose administered and the blood level achieved) properties by taking multiple blood samples (a total of 8) from you to ensure that your dose is sufficient to reach the blood levels they desire for maximum effectiveness. [As an aside, on my study, some participants are providing 8 blood samples on one day, so that we can characterize the "acute" effect of GF intake on endogenous estrogen levels, i.e., what happens to blood estrogen levels in one day.] Pharmacokinetics can be determined by many factors, how your body metabolizes drugs, your genetic make-up, whether you experience nutrient/drug interactions, etc.

On day 2, FTS will be given orally (2x per day) and continue for 21 consecutive days.

On day 8, second dose of gemcitabine and morning dose of FTS will be taken. Then the same procedure used on Day 1 (taking 8 blood samples to evaluate pharmacokinetic properties of the combination of drugs) will be employed. (BTW - gemcitabine is given by IV every 7 days and yes - before each infusion - a baseline blood sample is taken for laboratory tests. In addition to measuring the level of gemcitabine in your blood prior to giving you a new dose, the clotting ability of your blood and FTS levels will also be measured.

The latter information I took directly from the Informed Consent (IC). No - I am not that knowledgeable - just read the IC as I was requested to do! :>)

Go Team!

Kris

February 23, 2009
From Carol
I have signed the informed consent and if this cancer is inoperable, I feel so so so blessed to be included as the LAST ONE IN on the clinical trial of what is now know to be a successful drug. Just think, by being in this trial, I won’t have to “miss out” on this latest advance in chemotherapy.

As to my situation….Well, we still don’t know anything more… the only thing they have is the CT scans, X-rays that show the mass/lesions and the elevated blood level. They still don’t have a “good” biopsy.

Tomorrow I go up to Johns Hopkins for an endoscope where they put a scope down my throat with a little camera on it to look around and see what they see.

Another Liver Biopsy scheduled for Thursday. That’s good. They put me under the CT scan, line up the biopsy needle using the CT as a guide, then take out 3 plugs from the lesion. It will be good to get the details on the lesions on the liver and finally find out what is going on. They won’t do a biopsy of the pancreas. I am still boldly praying that God will heal my pancreas and that there is no cancer in there! If there is cancer, my prayer is that they will have the right chemo to zap those cells…or at least keep them from growing. We’ve got a wedding to go to! ☺ God WILL honor your prayers. I know it, I know it. I know it. I have read all of His promises in the Bible. They are true and He is Truth. Thanks for walking this journey with me.

Love,
Carol

Welcome to News About Carol

2009-02-25T18:02:00.000-05:00

Carol Marshall has so many adoring fans and caring friends, I was finding it hard to keep up with everyone! My emailbox has been full every night with prayers, love and good wishes for Carol. And I have feverishly tried to edit, pass along and post addresses. Then someone suggested a blog! So here we are . . . the Carol Marshall daily press! Complete with space for you to send your thoughts and prayers right to Carol and she can look at them whenever she wants. Just please don't expect a response. She barely has time to read what's coming in!!
But know that she appreciates each and every email. They soothe her, strengthen her and fortify her for the days ahead. She loves each and every one of you and wants you to know she carries you in her heart!