I’m back!! Sally was right ~ the JH heads up for “extreme fatigue” was the understatement of last weekend. I had a really busy work day last Friday until mid-day, then just hit the wall like I never imagined. I, seriously, couldn’t even open my eyes or lift my hand! I would ooze out of bed, to the “facilities” then nap on the bathroom floor for a hour or so, then wobble back to the bed or the couch….all weekend. Plus “symptoms” thrown in, so it was another new experience. But that’s behind me now. Whew!
Tomorrow we head up to Johns Hopkins for a “long day” with Robert-the-phlebotomist. Tomorrow blood tests only, off and on, for 11 hours, then back again to JH for more tests Friday morning. But no chemo!! Now here’s something funny. Last weekend I was thinking, “Wow, I can see why they give you a break after 3 weeks of accumulation of the chemicals in your body. The old bod can’t take it.” – but now that my “Break Week” is here I am surprised that I find myself thinking – “No, no…they MUST give me the chemo. I don’t want to go a week without it. I have to keep fighting. What if the cells grow during the ‘off week’? etc etc.”
I know that is silly but I did find myself thinking that. I trust that the doctors know what is best – and as you know, I am not the first through this clinical trial, so the doctors really know the best way to give this treatment. I have confidence I am in good hands. I was reading this wonderful verse from the Psalms and found myself wondering (again) if the author, David, was experiencing the exact same thing that I am b/c once again David certainly hit the mark for my feelings in what he says in his writing --- Isn’t this a great verse from the Psalms?…"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety! Ps. 16:8-9”
It’s a lovely week to reflect on resting in Knowing what We Know.
You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. First thing every morning I look at your blog to see my new prayer assignment. God does indeed provide us with strength.
ReplyDeleteAmen to your last statement!!! Blessings to you, Carol, for keeping your eyes on Him. It is true, He is right beside you. Thank you again, for this blog. Wow, what a great way to know how to pray and what is going on. My prayers are with you, the docs, and the family.
ReplyDeleteLove to you,
Carrie M.
This verse from Psalms is so peaceful Carol. I hope it places you in a calm spirit when you really read each word! My whole Holy Thursday mass tonight was devoted to you Carol. May you feel his everlasting love as he rises for us the Easter Sunday. Blessings to each of you and tons of love ~ Deb & Steve
ReplyDeleteDearest Carol,
ReplyDeleteThis week, the Holiest of Weeks, has us recall the suffering of Christ and the triumph of His resurrection on Easter. I pray that you will know more deeply His love and protection around you and our love for you, Frank and your terrific children.
Much love and have a blessed Easter,
Lynne and Jerry
My sister and I continue to keep you in my prayers daily, and reflect as we approach this Easter season 2009, I am reminded that had it not been for the sheeding of the blood, there would be no remission of sins. Had he not borne it all for us, we would not have been able to bear it all with him. So becasue of that we rest in Christ knowing that when we are at our weakest, He is at his strongest in us.
ReplyDeleteMay God's love warm you this season as he has never done before.
AME Pastor
God loves you and so do I
Carol,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that I am sending lots of positive thoughts and love your way! We all look forward to seeing your beautiful soul and smile at Out of the Fire!
Amy Haines